I enjoy these little talks we have. I pretend to be funny, you pretend to laugh, and we all pretend that Hollywood’s latest releases actually matter somehow. And I get to force my opinions on you, and then you get to argue with me. This is what memories are made of, friends. Promise me that nothing will change when we’re famous, and probably addicted to a lot of different drugs? I know, I know…just…promise. Please? *Sniff.*

Here’s my thought of the week: Don’t you think MovieZeal should have a mascot? Like, maybe a cartoon eel called the MoviezEal? That would be almost as awesome as…

WALL-E
Yep, the latest soon-to-be classic from Pixar Animation Studios. This time it’s an epic tale of a humble little robot who gets to travel to the farthest reaches of space. Y’know, it’s funny, but I feel like there’s nothing left to say about this one, and it hasn’t even reached theaters yet. It’s no exaggeration to say that expectations are astronomically high – as well they should be, after Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, and yes, even Cars. If the trailers are any indication, this one is sure to be nothing short of incredible (it looks like a mash-up of a old Mickey Mouse cartoon and Star Wars). If I was slightly more impulsive, I probably would have bought a ticket for each of the first twelve showings already.

Recommended if you like awesomeness. Seriously, there’s no reason to miss this one, unless you’re a 13-year-old boy who’s afraid of being seen at a G-rated movie.

Wanted
…And if you are that 13-year-old boy, here’s your pick for the week: the latest comic book adaptation in a summer of no less than five comic book adaptations (at my count – am I forgetting any?). I haven’t read the comic book, and the trailer makes it look idiotic, and it has Angelina Jolie in it, so it could suck – but it’s getting good reviews (a solid 67% at Metacritic). What’s it about? Hard to say. It looks like a rip-off of all those rip-offs of The Matrix that clogged cineplexes around the turn of the century. I’m pretty sure, though, that if you’re into ridiculous action movies, this one will deliver the goods. Just don’t come crying to me if it turns out to be insanely stupid.

Recommended if you liked The Matrix, Sin City, and Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, but wished they had Morgan Freeman and were a lot more generic.