Release Dates Jun 13 2008 @ 12:00 am
Theater Releases for June 13th, 2008
A-boogedy-boogedy-boogedy!!! Welcome to Friday the 13th, all. For your consideration, I present you with the three most terrifying films Hollywood could dig up: 1) a monster movie; 2) a movie about a bunch of people…disappearing…to…somewhere; and 3) a scarily bad comedy. Proceed at your own risk…
The Incredible Hulk
HULK MAD. HULK MAKE BAD MOVIE. HULK SMAAAAASH BAD MOVIE. HULK START OVER. HULK MAKE SEQUEL THAT IGNORE PREVIOUS INSTALLMENT. HULK REPLACE REPRESSED FREUDIAN DRAMA WITH AWESOME SPECIAL EFFECTS. HULK SELL LOTS OF LICENSED MERCHANDISE TO CHILDREN UNDER THIRTEEN, DESPITE FILM’S “PG-13″ RATING. HULK MAKE STAN LEE RICH AND HAPPY.
Recommended if you like unnecessary sequels and reboots. Which, given recent box office numbers, apparently describes everyone…
The Happening
You will not see marketing more desperate than this. After the debacles that were The Village and (especially) Lady in the Water, 20th Century Fox is taking no risks with M. Night Shyamalan’s latest project (aside from financing it in the first place – but I digress). This one is “From the director of The Sixth Sense and Signs!” – not those other two, mind you – and the ads proudly trumpet the “R” rating, as if that somehow proves it won’t be childishly self-indulgent like his last couple of films. (Fun quote from the MPAA’s rating website: “…if you are 18 or over, or if you have no children, the rating system has no meaning for you. Ratings are meant for parents, no one else.” Hmmm…) So, what does it all mean? Well, nothing really. Either Shyamalan has been able to learn from his mistakes, or Fox has been unable to learn from the mistakes of others (namely Disney and Warner Bros.). The plot, apparently, is about a bunch of people disappearing, so you can bet that M. Night still thinks he’s God’s gift to suspense – and you can bet on a Big Twist that’s not really all that surprising. Still, if it sounds interesting to you, it might be worth checking out. It does feature “Marky” Mark Wahlberg, who never fails to impress me, even when he’s in terrible movies. So there is that. Meh…proceed with caution.
Recommended if you still haven’t given up on ol’ M. Night.
The Promotion
The New York Post raves: “The Promotion makes Employee of the Month look like David Mamet! No stars!” Seriously, though, critical reception has been extremely mixed on this one, and I know next to nothing about it. I can tell you that it’s an indie comedy directed by Steven Conrad (The Pursuit of Happyness) and released by The Weinstein Company that stars John C. Reilly and Seann William Scott as two supermarket employees fighting each other tooth and nail for a managerial position. I can tell you that that sounds really funny to me. I can tell you that it’s probably not. I can also tell you that the only reason I mentioned this one is because I’m sick of only having one or two big, dumb blockbusters to write about every week. IS SUMMER FRICKIN’ OVER YET?!? I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I just get…so…so flustered sometimes.
Recommended if you liked Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story; Oh, God!; or What Happens in Vegas
on Jun 13 2008 @ 8:33 am 1. Evan Derrick said …
Yup, The Happenings marketing is on overdrive, desperately trying to get you to look the other way like some C-rate amateur magician. The problem this is that M. Night, perhaps more than any other director, has chosen to become an integral part of his marketing. General audiences know his name and know his films, and you can only say that about a handful of others (Spielberg and Lucas, specifically). So, I’m fairly certain that no matter how hard Fox tries, people are going to remember Lady in the Water and they’re going to remember who directed it and they’re going to go see The Hulk instead.
M. Night is the Britney Spears of the film world – we revel in his self-destruction even as we hope he’ll pull out of it. I think the guy is really, really talented, and I would love to seem him reinvent himself and come back with a few more masterpieces, but all signs do not point to The Happening being that comeback. I know he hates critics with a passion, and they equally hate him back, but I think the vast majority of them are like me – they want to see another Sixth Sense or Signs from him. However, as I write this the film is currently sitting at a 22% over at RottenTomatoes. Sigh. Maybe next time, M. Night, maybe next time.
on Jun 13 2008 @ 8:50 am 2. Daniel said …
I don’t know how The Promotion can go wrong, but it just doesn’t look good. Fortunately I have bigger movies like Hulk and Happening to disappoint me instead.
on Jun 13 2008 @ 10:51 am 3. Joseph said …
I think I’ll be at the theater twice this next week. Makes up for last week
on Jun 13 2008 @ 1:34 pm 4. Evan Derrick said …
Caught The Hulk. It’s grand, comic book movie fun. You can tell the entire thing is basically an apology for the last one, but they manage to hit all the important marks. I’d put it up there with Iron Man in terms of quality – they’re not reinventing the wheel, but they are crafting a decent comic book flick.
Worth your time and money. Review will be up later.
on Jun 14 2008 @ 8:23 pm 5. Joseph said …
^ Agreed. The Incredible Hulk was good. Too bad The Happening was crap.
on Jun 14 2008 @ 11:38 pm 6. Colleen said …
I liked the happening, it was a funny film. I was laughing a lot at the acting, and the dialogue. The problem is…its not suppose to be funny.