It’s testament to the power of a film when the week it comes out, nothing else does — and then, the following week, nothing worth seeing does. Harry Potter #6 clearly is a powerful film. Can anyone think of another franchise that lasted for six films and could still bring in blockbuster-sized crowds? (Hint: not Police Academy.) Anyway, this week, the studios are obviously schluffing off the movies that no one wants to see, in hopes that either (a) no one will notice, or (b) people will come to the theater to see Harry Potter, see that it’s sold out, and settle for one of these.

But if you’re determined to take in a new film this week, here are your choices…

The Ugly Truth
Yet another generic romantic comedy about a career-obsessed woman who needs a man? Ugh, how little enthusiasm can I come up with for this one? The fact that it makes my top spot tells you something about your other choices, I guess. Whatever.

See it if you liked How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or What Happens in Vegas

Orphan
Yet another generic horror flick about a creepy kid that’s deeply offensive to the people trying to make the world a better place by promoting adoption? Once again, ugh. At least the poster’s kind of creepy without seeming overly cliche. Then again, if they’re consciously trying to ride the coattails of Guillermo del Toro’s The Orphanage with that title…bleh.

See it if you can’t wait for the next remake of The Omen

G-force
Yet another family comedy with talking CGI animals and would-have-been-hip-six-months-ago dialogue? Say it with me now: Ugh. At least Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney are still getting along…mainly for the same reason that Bill Gates and Warren Buffett get along, if you follow me. You all know I’m not a Harry Potter fan, so listen carefully: If your kids beg to go to a movie this weekend, take them to Potter. Please.

See it if you liked Cats and Dogs or Spy Kids

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