Release Dates Feb 05 2009 @ 10:30 am
Theater Releases for February 6th, 2009
'Coraline'
So…between DVDs and theatrical releases, Dakota Fanning has four movies coming out this week. Serisouly, Fanning, take a vacation.
Coraline
I was totally going to go to a critics’ screening of this one, and then it slipped my mind. So I still haven’t seen it, but I have to say it looks pretty cool. Stop-motion animation (like CGI, kids, only better), digital 3D, based on a popular children’s book, spooky atmosphere…honestly, what more could you want? This one’s rated PG and directed by the same guy who did The Nightmare Before Christmas…so if you and/or your kids are looking to have a weekend that’s OMG SO GOTHZ, this is your obvious choice.
Recommended if you liked The Nightmare Before Christmas or James and the Giant Peach
Push
I guess this one is the choice if you’re feeling more ZOMG SO EMO (and yes, there’s a very subtle distinction). In this one, a group of teens with telepathic and clairvoyant abilities, one of whom is Dakota Fanning, have to escape an evil government conspiracy that wants to use their powers for…y’know…evil. Now I’m not saying that this sounds like a total rip-off of the popular X-men franchise, but…um…it sounds…like…a total…rip-off…of the popular X-men franchise.
Recommended if you fondly remember all those movies you sat through as a kid that were centered around a motley group of young heroes, all with their own special ability, who had to use said special abilities at key points in the story in order to overcome evil and learn to believe in themselves
He’s Just Not That Into You
How out of ideas do you have to be in order to resort to taking a best-selling work of non-fiction and then turning it into a formulaic romantic comedy? In terms of inspiration, this one ranks right up there with How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but a surprisingly large number of big-name actors apparently thought this was a good idea: Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, and Scarlett Johansson (among others) all show up. Sounds like the biggest waste of established brand names I’ve seen in a while, but I’d still rather watch this than the next one on the list.
Recommended if you liked Love Actually (or if you like love, actually)
The #$%#ing Pink Panther 2
I’m sorry, but I can’t even pretend to be objective with this one. What do I hate more: the fact that Steve Martin hasn’t made a good movie in nearly twenty years, or the fact that Hollywood depends on an endless parade of pointless and insulting “reboots” just to pay the bills? I can only imagine what Steve Martin’s daily scehdule looks like: 6:00 am: Breakfast. 7:00 am: Take a dump all over the legacy of Peter Sellers. And seriously, what genious came up with that title? If nothing else, at least the sequels in the original series pretended to be different movies. Here’s some free advice: Hollywood thinks you’re a drooling, lobotomized idiot. That’s why they put derivitive crap like this in theaters. Every time you buy a ticket to a movie like this, you’re confirming that suspicion for them. SO PLEASE JUST @#$%ING DON’T.
Recommended if you want me to hunt you down.
…seriously.
on Feb 05 2009 @ 11:48 am 1. Evan Derrick said …
Ah, Luke’s pet peeves explode all over the blogosphere.
Coraline was written by Neil Gaiman, who is one of my favorite authors. Sadly, his track record when it comes to film is sadly lacking (both films based on his material – Stardust – and stuff he’s written himself – Beowulf). I continue to believe that it’s not his fault, but it make be a similar case to Stephen King’s – his work just does not translate well to the screen. When it sits in your imagination, it’s potent, spectacular, and terrifying, but as soon as it’s given visual form, it deflates all over the sidewalk like a limp balloon.
And while we’re harping on pet peeves, what is up with the marketing campaign for He’s Just Not That Into You? After watching untold tv ads, I still can’t figure out what the film is actually about. And if the film is about relationships in the age of new technology, isn’t their ensemble a bit old? Are we really supposed to believe that late 30s something singles are hooking up over MySpace? Seriously, one of the worst marketing campaigns I’ve seen in a while.
on Feb 05 2009 @ 4:00 pm 2. Haiku Girl said …
I did like Steve Martin in Bowfinger, but your right he’s been well past the “Best Before ” date for a very long time.
I was ranting on this during the after the credits podcast. Peter Sellers Inspector was never a true idiot. Steve Martins Inspector is!
on Feb 05 2009 @ 4:44 pm 3. Andrew Wyatt said …
I heartily agree that the Martin Pink Panther films are execrable (as are the Cheaper By the Dozen films), but I have to beg to differ on the claim that Martin “hasn’t made a good movie in nearly twenty years”. The man’s career has slid in a bad way, but this claim is just hyperbole. Since 1989’s Parenthood, which I’ve always had a soft spot for, Martin has given us a remarkably strong proto-Haggis ensemble drama (Grand Canyon), one thoroughly awesome David Mamet thriller with Martin’s best villainous turn since Little Shop of Horrors (The Spanish Prisoner), and one of the best comedies about Los Angeles ever made (L.A. Story). Your point stands with respect to his recent work, though. (Bringing Down the House? Yeesh.)
on Feb 06 2009 @ 12:30 pm 4. Evan Derrick said …
I agree that most of Martin’s work of late sticks out like a gangrenous thumb. But he was in Shopgirl, which was quite good (which was also based on a book that he wrote).
And didn’t he come up with the idea for Traitor, that Don Cheadle/Guy Pierce movie? Not that it was a stunningly original idea, but it was a few good shades more original than The Pink Panther 2.
on Feb 06 2009 @ 2:40 pm 5. Luke Harrington said …
Yeah guys, I was employing just a hair of hyperbole there. (Notice I said “nearly twenty years” — a phrase that allowed me plenty of room to backpedal if I got slammed for it.) But what’s really weird to me is that it seems like the whole “Baby Boomer” generation of comedians has all had a relatively short shelf life (with the possible exception of Bill Murray, who’s arguably survived by becoming a much more serious actor).
(In the interest of fairness, I should admit that my generation has yet to produce a single comedian whose popularity likely to survive past his or her 30’s.)
I’ll definitely listen to the podcast, Haiku Girl. Anyone railing against the Pink Panther remakes is a friend of mine.
As for HJNTIY, I think Evan’s bemusement is a good example of why you shouldn’t try to make a nonfictional book into a fictional film. (Fast Food Nation, anyone?).
on Feb 06 2009 @ 3:51 pm 6. Evan Derrick said …
A non-fiction book? That explains a lot.