I’ll give it to you straight…there’s really nothing even remotely good coming out this week. But here’s your consolation prize if you live near a theater in the AMC chain (and pretty much everyone and their dog does, right?): This Saturday, they’ll be showing a marathon of all five films nominated for the Best Picture Oscar, and tickets are only $30 each ($25 if you’re a member of their Movie Watcher club), and that includes a bottomless popcorn. That really isn’t too bad of a deal, if you don’t have any Saturday plans. Having seen all five nominated films, I can honestly say that at least two of them are arguably worth paying money to see, and — well — I’ll say it again: BOTTOMLESS. POPCORN. Seriously. Here’s the link to the info site. Check it out.

Anyway, new releases. And such.

Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail
You’re not going to find a title much more obvious than that. Seriously, is there anything I could tell you about this movie that’s not already in the title? Maybe if they had called it Tyler Perry Writes, Directs and Stars in a Movie in Which His Popular Recurring Character Medea Goes to Jail, Causes Funny Things to Occur, and Learns Valuable Life Lessons in the Process? Yeah, that’s pretty good. I should get Tyler on the phone and see if he’ll buy that title from me.

Recommended if the whole “man in drag” thing is still clever and witty to you.

Fired Up
Hey, and speaking of comedic premises that have been done to death and I hope I never see again…two football players quit the team and go out for the cheerleading squad in hopes of scoring some poontang. Sounds subtle, sophisticated, and charming all around. Actually, I do have to tip my hat to this one a little bit. After all, it’s a sex comedy where the football players are the heroes, not the villains. This really is a big step forward for members of the campus jockocracy everywhere. Now all we need is a slasher film where the killer goes after the virgins.

Recommended if you liked Porky’s, American Pie, Superbad, etc….and you still think watching guys try to get laid is absolutely hilarious.