Apparently, Friday the Thirteenth is bad luck. Not only is it bringing us a needless reboot of its eponymous franchise, it’s also giving us a movie with both “confessions” and “shopaholic” in its title. That can’t possibly be a good sign.

The International
What if the world’s largest corporation was lawless, abusive, and downright evil?!! It would be, um, just like real life. (If that doesn’t get me a contract with Air America, I don’t know what will.) This one is from German director Tom Tykwer (of Run Lola Run fame), and stars Clive Owens and Naomi Watts. It also looks like a taut little thriller (I’ve seen the trailer, so I’m pretty much an expert), which makes it my top pick for the week. Actually, it’s my top pick for the week because your other two choices are…well, see for yourself…

Recommended if you wished The Corporation had had, y’know, a plot

Confessions of a Shopaholic
I was wracking my brain for something to say about this one…suffice it to say that it’s just not targeted toward my demographic. At all. If those two capitalized words get your blood going (fans of St. Augustine’s Confessionsneed not apply), you know who you are. This one’s pretty much got “girls’ night out” written all over it: shopaholic, who writes for fashion magazines, in Manhattan, falls in love with a millionaire. Um…wow. I’ll just stop there.

Recommended if you liked Bridget Jones’s Diary or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Friday the 13th
Ah, the 2000’s. The decade that will be forever remembered as the one when Hollywood ran out of ideas and resorted to repeatedly ripping off the 80’s. Here’s a question for discussion: Which is worse: the innumerable horror remakes, which are honest about what they are (Halloween = Halloween, Friday the 13th = Friday the 13th, etc.), or the innumerable sex comedy rip-offs, which pretend to be new movies (Porky’s = American Pie, Risky Business = The Girl Next Door, etc., etc.)? Anyway…um, yeah. This one’s not worth any more words. I’m done here.

Recommended if you forgot how to rent DVDs

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