Release Dates Aug 21 2008 @ 10:00 am
Theater Releases for August 22nd, 2008
It must be stupid comedy week, or something. (I know someone’s going to say, “What about Death Race!?” — but trust me, that one’s a stupid comedy too.) On the bright side, Hamlet 2 and The Rocker look pretty good, and the much-heralded documentary I.O.U.S.A. debuts as well (but I’ll wait until it picks up a few more screens before mentioning it officially).
Hamlet 2
A long-awaited indie flick that tells the story of a drama teacher directing an infinitely offensive sequel to William Shakespeare’s Hamlet in an attempt to save his high school’s theater department. I can’t promise you quality (I haven’t seen it — you can ask Evan what he thought), but it’s different enough to be worth a look. It was also directed by Andy Fleming, who directed the 1999 comedy Dick, which I consider to be somewhat underrated (though admittedly flawed). But then, he also directed Nancy Drew, so proceed with caution.
Recommended if your dream movie is a mash-up of High School Musical and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
The Rocker
Based on my experience with Dumb and Dumberer, I assume that this one is the prequel to The Rock. Nah, seriously, Rainn “Dwight Schrute” Wilson is a washed-up headbanger who joins his nephew’s garage band. Looks about like what you get when you put The School of Rock, The Office, and Almost Famous in a blender. Or something like that. Or not.
Recommended if you’re one of those people who strips his shirt off and bangs on the drum kit for Rock Band when he thinks he’s alone (and believe me, I know far too many of those people)
The House Bunny
Dear Anna Faris,
You’ve got talent. I just know it. Even in brain-dead movies, I still find you pretty funny. You even produced this film yourself, which I guess means you have brains. But here’s a free tip: the world doesn’t need a female Adam Sandler. And it definitely doesn’t need another comedy about an attractive girl teaching nerdy girls about how to get boys. Even if you learn valuable lessons about how it’s what’s on the inside that counts (and I’m sure you will), the whole thing will still be banal and offensive. Do yourself a favor and get out while there’s still time. Find a smart script, escape from Happy Madison Productions, and never look back.
Your pal,
Luke
Recommended if you liked Legally Blonde, She’s All That, or Mona Lisa Smile
Death Race
A bunch of hardened convicts drive around in circles trying to kill each other. I’m pretty sure that tells you all you need to know. (I saw an early showing of this, and it was frustrating. I wanted to hate it, but it turned out to be a pretty fun time — which was very surprising, given that this one came from Alien vs. Predator auteur Paul W.S. Anderson.)
Recommended if you’ve been sitting in your parents’ basement playing Twisted Metal on your PlayStation since 1995
The Longshots
Wait, what? A family sports comedy starring Ice Cube and directed by…Fred Durst? How many different ways are there to say “Please stab me in the face now”? If Fred Durst becomes to family comedies what Rob Zombie is to horror movies…I’m leaving the planet. Seriously.
Not recommended. At all. Ever.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 10:17 am 1. Joseph said …
I.O.U.S.A. is showing in my next of the woods. That guarantees the right to be mentioned.
But yeah, not interested any of the new films. Death Race I will watch, but I’ll save that for DVD.
And no mention of Roger Corman? Shame on you.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 10:21 am 2. Luke Harrington said …
Yeah, Corman is actually credited as a producer, which just might have been what kept the film from being terrible. I was trying to be suucinct, though.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 10:37 am 3. Evan Derrick said …
I watched Death Race 2000 last night. It was, umm…. indescribable. I can somewhat understand the uproar over the remake, as the two share virtually nothing in common. Imagine someone trying to remake The Rocky Horror Picture Show and you can get a pretty good idea of the outrage many are feeling.
Then again, it’s Death Race 2000, and if you’re feeling outrage, you need to get out and, uh, meet humanity.
And Hamlet 2 is recommended/not recommended. It really all depends on your sense of humor – you either get it or you don’t, and I imagine there will be very few fence sitters in regards to the film. Pure, unmitigated hate versus fawning adoration.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 10:38 am 4. Daniel said …
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m just excited to see Elizabeth Shue again in Hamlet 2.
Fred Durst? Is that a joke? No, seriously, is it?
on Aug 21 2008 @ 10:40 am 5. Phillip Johnston said …
I’m seeing I.O.U.S.A. tonight. There’s a big event all across the country with the film this evening — about 200 theaters are showing it as a one-time thing with a special live broadcast with Warren Buffet and a few other economy-minded people afterward. Should be interesting.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 10:50 am 6. Luke Harrington said …
Oh wow, you’re right — can’t believe I missed the press release on that. Oops. Too bad my wife is working late tonight so I’ll have to miss it.
Daniel: No. No it’s not a joke. Not at all. Movie bloggers throw around the phrase “sign of the apocalypse” a lot, but I’m pretty sure this is the first film I’ve seen that truly qualifies for that assessment. I was going to try to make a joke about it, but honestly, what can you even say? The truly scary thing is that some studio exec thought this was a good idea. All I can add is that I hope it has somehwat fewer f-bombs than the average Bizkit song. :S
on Aug 21 2008 @ 11:10 am 7. Jimmy said …
Hamlet 2 is funny but there’s an even better comedy about the theater coming out on DVD August 26th. It’s called Never Say Macbeth. The music in the trailer rocks! http://www.neversaymacbeth.com
A director tries to put on a production of Macbeth that’s cursed with ghosts and wacky stuff. Hamlet 2 meets Beetlejuice!
on Aug 21 2008 @ 11:19 am 8. Evan Derrick said …
Jimmy, I received the screening copy of Never Say Macbeth and I have it on my schedule to watch it this weekend. We’ll run the piece next week alongside Hamlet 2. I’m looking forward to it and hoping for the best.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 12:44 pm 9. Joseph said …
re: Death Race
“I can somewhat understand the uproar over the remake, as the two share virtually nothing in common.”
In some ways I prefer remakes that do steer away from the original material. If it was the same thing as the original, why would it need to be made?
on Aug 21 2008 @ 1:24 pm 10. Luke Harrington said …
Well…heh…name one remake that ever actually needed to be made.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 1:35 pm 11. Alexander Coleman said …
I’ll go with Carpenter’s The Thing.
Cool discussion-starter, Luke!
on Aug 21 2008 @ 1:48 pm 12. Evan Derrick said …
How about A Fistful of Dollars? Sure, Sanjuro is brilliant and anyone wanting to remake Kurosawa needs to have their head examined, but Sergio Leone singlehandedly kick started the Spaghetti Western with Fistful. Any remake that spawns an entire sub-genre and directly led to The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is a ‘necessary’ remake in my book.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 2:11 pm 13. Alexander Coleman said …
Ah, but A Fistful of Dollars is a remake of Yojimbo, Evan.
That’s my one well-intentioned pedantic correction for the month of August. Sorry, I just had to say it. Nevertheless, you make a tremendous point.
Another interesting thing is that Kurosawa was also remade with Rashomon becoming The Outrage and The Seven Samurai becoming The Magnificent Seven.
I would also point to Spielberg’s War of the Worlds, though its fidelity to the novel and dramatic changes from the original movie almost disqualify it as an actual remake.
And as I’m sure has been pointed out here before, John Huston’s The Maltese Falcon is a case of a “remake” (of two previous adaptations of the novel) clearly being superior to the “originals,” though Huston’s unique deference to the source material almost makes it the first true attempt to do Hammett justice.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 2:18 pm 14. G said …
I have a counter to Luke’s game: name me one film that ever needed to be made. There’s no such thing as a film that needs or doesn’t need to be made. It makes no sense to talk that way.
People constantly say the a sequel or remake is “unnecessary.” So, Godfather Part III was unnecessary, right? Was The Godfather “necessary”? What would that even mean?
on Aug 21 2008 @ 2:24 pm 15. Alexander Coleman said …
I think when people say The Godfather III was unnecessary, they mean that narratively, the overarching storyline of the first two films is exhausted. I like parts of III, but I do see the point people make–the Papacy conspiracy stuff is interesting, however.
on Aug 21 2008 @ 2:56 pm 16. Evan Derrick said …
Ok, so it was a remake of Yojimbo, but seeing as they are the same character and virtually the same film, the mistake was easy to make.
I tell you what, some people….:)
on Aug 22 2008 @ 8:06 am 17. Julia Harrington said …
I think we’re all in agreeance about Fred Durst.
on Aug 22 2008 @ 10:02 am 18. Luke Harrington said …
Jules, you’re hilarious, but I’m afraid the reference may be a bit too obscure.
G, I have to echo Alexander’s thoughts: “necessary” and “unnecessary” are just convenient shorthand for whether an undertaking was justified or not artistically. The Godfather had a deep, epic story that was worth fleshing out with a sequel; Priates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl did not.
I have no arguments about The Thing or A Fistfull of Dollars. Can anyone think of a third? (I can’t.)