Okay, so I missed the DVD releases post. Ran out of time. Sorry. I guarantee you, though, that there was nothing you care about. On the theatrical front, however, you have some very good choices this week. Intrigued? Me too. You’ll find them below, as always, ranked by how much I care…
This is the latest one from noted anime auteur Hayao Miyazaki, the man behind Princess Mononoke, Castle in the Sky, and the totally-Oscar-winningSpirted Away. This one’s about a fish that wants to be a human, and…um…yeah. Okay, don’t look at me that way. His movies are always a little (or a lot) “out there,” but they’re also always incredible. You want original, imaginative movies? Here you go. Everyone else can go see G.I. Joe, I guess.
See it if you liked Pinnochio, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, or The Little Mermaid
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
A madcap comedy about an overzealous used car salesman. What else can I say about this movie? Well…t’s from those guys who brought you those Will Ferrell movies that are exactly like all those other Will Ferrell movies. Also, it doesn’t have Will Ferrell in it. Also, it doesn’t have anyone particularly famous in it. Also, the trailer makes it look way funnier than it deserves to be. Also, I’ll probably go. Also, I’ll probably hate myself for going. The end.
See it if you like Will Ferrell movies but think they just have too much Will Ferrell in them.
Director Neil Blomkamp (3,000 Miles to Graceland) and producer Peter Jackson (a little trilogy called The Lord of the Rings) bring you a different kind of alien movie. This time, the aliens aren’t invaders; they’re refugees. I saw an advance screening of this one, and I loved it, but it’s definitely not for everyone. It’s brutal, depressing, and deadly serious. It’s also probably one of the most important films to come out this year. See it if you want to think a little bit…but don’t expect the usual popcorn fun.
See it if you think Will Smith is a jerk for punching that alien in the face in Independence Day.
Okay, now we’re getting into the stuff that’s more likely to be crap. This one combines a couple of guilty pleasures of mine: the production company Walden Media (City of Ember FTW!) and one of the stars from High School Musical (Vanessa Hudgens, for anyone who actually cares), but the idea of a rock-band-themed tweenybopper movie still kind of makes my skin crawl. And I know that if my skin is crawling, most of you are probably running screaming from the room.
See it if you liked Josie and the Pussycats or Camp Rock
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Okay, I have no idea about this one. It could be a great film, for all I know (it’s not). But, really? A guy who’s doomed forever to spontaneously travel through time finds love anyway? Didn’t that already happen when the guy from Quantum Leap accidentally got zapped into the Lifetime Network, or something? Also, look at that poster. Is the guy who designed it colorblind?
…Sorry, it’s Friday afternoon and I’m cranky. I’m sure this is a very lovely film. You go, Eric Bana!
See it if you liked Amy Tan’s novel The Kitchen God’s Wife, but thought, “Gee, this needs less Julia Child and more H.G. Wells.”