Okay…so we still have almost a month before Hollywood starts releasing the movies anyone could possibly care about. Stay home this weekend and rent Sweeney Todd. I swear, it’s great. Definitely way better than any of this stuff could possibly be…

Leatherheads
George Clooney’s back in the director’s chair…this time directing a nostalgic sports comedy. He’s the manager for a professional football team, back before football was legit. This one looks like it could actually be pretty funny, but its release date suggests otherwise…

Recommended if you liked A League of Their Own, Hoosiers, or Seabiscuit

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Nim’s Island
Yet another fantasy-based children’s film from Walden Media…do we really need another one of these? Since they started out, Walden’s made exactly two good films–The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and Because of Winn-Dixie (which most people that weren’t me hated)–out of fifteen. So…whatever. If you’re not quite sick of would-be Harry Potters yet, this one might work for you.

Recommended if you have kids and no constructive ideas for “quality time”

The Ruins
Based on the novel by Scott Smith, this is a horror picture about some teens (who else?) who discover a scary thing of some kind at a Mayan temple. I’m not sure what it is, but I think it’s either some Mayans or some worms, depending on which part of the trailer you believe. This one is probably either surprisingly good or hilariously awful. Either way, I’m totally there.

Recommended if you liked Anaconda, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, or The Mummy (Is it obvious I know nothing about this movie?)

Shine a Light
Remember that AT&T commercial where Martin Scorsese interrupts the kid on the phone with his dad? Well, this is just like that except the kid is the Rolling Stones. And the phone conversation is a concert. And the whole thing is in IMAX. I’m pretty sure you know whether or not this flick is for you.

Recommended if you see a red door and you want it painted black, or if you can’t get no satisfaction