Handful of B-movies and some documentaries. Pasty nerds, your weekend has come.

88 Minutes
He has 88 minutes to solve a murder. His own. (Make sure you read that last non-sentence in a distorted, sinister voice.) So goes the tagline for the latest variation of the clock-is-ticking action thriller. In this one, Al “Shylock” Pacino gets a sinister call about how some guy is going to kill him. Kind of like Speed, minus the bus. Or like 24, only (potentially) not as insulting to your intelligence.

Recommended if you liked Die Hard, Crank, or Phone Booth

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
From the “just because your movie is controversial doesn’t mean it was worth making” department: Intelligent Design proponent Ben Stein takes on the Darwinian establishment. Unfortunately, instead of fostering real, meaningful debate (something that this arguably warrants), he appears to have pulled out the ol’ guerrilla filmmaking shtick, and spends an hour and a half belittling Richard Dawkins. I have to say I’m glad to see the documentary is making a comeback as a genre…but at what cost, kids?

Recommended if you like Michael Moore’s whiny tirades, but wish they were, you know, more red-statey-er

The Forbidden Kingdom
Looks like a cross between The Karate Kid; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; The Matrix, and maybe that third Ninja Turtles movie that everybody hates? Seriously, I’ve seen the trailer like eight times and I still can’t figure out what this one’s about. Here’s all you need to know, though: It’s got Jackie-freaking-Chan in it. That alone makes it pure gold (let’s just pretend that Around the World in 80 Days never happened).

Recommended if you enjoy Jackie Chan movies or inspiring tales about The Power of Believing in Yourself

And, we scrape the bottom of the barrel after the jump…

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Whenever someone feels the need to start their movie’s title with a gerund, you can be pretty sure it’s not worth seeing. This one’s title isn’t quite as unbelievably inane as Riding in Cars with Boys, but hey, it’s pretty darn close. For what it’s worth, it’s getting good reviews, but I’m not sure the public is crying out for another over-the-top, male-centered romantic comedy. If you are, though, have at it.

Recommended if you liked Knocked Up, The Break-Up, or You, Me and Dupree

Where in the World is Osama bin Laden?
This one’s only opening on 100 screens, so you might not be able to catch it – but this is just too weird not to mention. Remember Morgan Spurlock? That guy who made a small fortune by feeding himself McDonald’s food every day for a month? Well, he’s decided that he’s going after Osama bin Laden. So he grabs a cameraman and wastes the time and money of the entire U.S. military and every single person in the Middle East. Is it funny? Maybe. Could I support it in good conscience? Hmmm…really it comes down to one question for me: Does Rockapella show up to sing the theme song?

Recommended if you liked Super Size Me, Fahrenheit 9/11 or Borat