This week we have a veritable cornucopia. Not really, though. I just made that up.

Smart People
Dennis Quaid stars as a widowed college professor who finds true love with Sarah Jessica Parker. Clearly he’s never seen Sex and the City, or he would know better. Ellen Page stars as his “preppy” daughter. (For some odd reason, all the press for this movie seems to be making a big deal about how “preppy” Ellen Page is. Do people still even use the word “preppy”? Are we really that worried that everyone thinks of Page as a sarcastic teen mother? Did no one see X-men: The Last Stand? No, come to think of it, I guess no one did…)

Recommended if you enjoy “indie” comedies like Juno, Sideways, or Lars and the Real Girl

Street Kings
So…I guess the entertainment industry got sick of glorifying gang warfare in L.A. (see: gangsta rap) and decided to glorify police brutality in L.A. instead. So, instead of subtle, ambiguous racism, we get explicit, unapologetic racism. I guess that’s progress in sort of a sick, twisted way. This one stars Keanu Reeves in the role of The (Mostly) White Cop Who Shoots a Bunch of Black People. I’m sure he gets his comeuppance, but not until after the movie sets race relations back 20 years or so. This one does, however, win the Weekly Award for Movie with the Largest Number of Actors that Don’t Have Real Names (Common, The Game, and Cedric the Entertainer all make appearances).

Recommended if you like Cradle 2 the Grave, Boyz n the Hood, or jokes that begin with “I’m not racist, but…”

Prom Night
No, not a remake of the 1980 camp-horror classic starring Jamie Lee Curtis and (I swear) Leslie Nielsen…this is just the latest in the glut of bad horror movies we always get this time of year. If the lame, overused title isn’t enough to keep you away, take a look at its rating: PG-13 – which, with this genre, always means “Come if you’re in middle school and want to make out in the back row.”

Recommended if you’re in eighth grade and you’ve never seen a good horror movie in your life

Persepolis
Not “opening” per se, but finally getting the wide(r) release it deserves, this French film tells the story of a girl growing up during the Iranian revolution. This one almost took home this year’s Academy Award for Best Animated Feature – and probably would have if it weren’t for Pixar accidentally making the Best Movie Ever (known to the public as Ratatouille). Not necessarily for the kids (it contains some sexual and drug-related content), but definitely a very good animated film.

Recommended if you like animation, but want something with themes that run a little deeper than giant robots, singing princesses, and lame pop culture parodies