Gather your spears and shields people. We are going to fight disastrous recent comedies.

We march… For honor’s sake… For glory’s sake… We march…

I can easily see myself as a front soldier in that type of a battle.

While we’re at it, I should take Adam Sandler out of my fridge. He should be done marinating.

You’re totally right, though. There’s a very good reason that Monty Python stuck with a sketch format when they made the jump from TV to film (Holy Grail and Life of Brian sort of pretended to have stories, but the point still stands). But evidently, SNL vets learned nothing from this.

The trouble is, it’s ice cream and a bowl is good, the half gallon is bad and you cannot stifLe the hurl after downing a tub. Also, the brands determine your pleasure level. Bryer’s vanilla rocks, while Winn-Dixie brand is for family picnic with relatives you want to see die from the radiation. Product placement is important in life, as it is in film.

NBC has a large product placement in films. Since 1978, movie goers are constantly exposed to a mostly sinister product placement: Saturday Night Live (SNL). Face it, once the NBC juggernaught found that despite an obvious and degenerate negative effect on the morals of youth, Senator Blutarsky opened a flood gate of talent and also rans that the entertainment world has yet to recover from.

Gleaning good SNL films from the bad is tatamount to segregating the remaining candy in a 7 year old’s Halloween bucket. The good films with alums from the show are sometimes seriously fantastic as the bad are fantastic in the way you compare turds on your lawn. Do we dare compare the “It’s Pat” feces to that of the “Dickie Roberts” without factoring the mess that was/is “Dirty Work” (I was gonna use “Oh Heavenly Dog” until the former turdbit crossed my mind)?

And while we’re at it, what the heck was the deal with the Spade-ster’s character in “Lost and Found” anyway? Am I to believe that a common whinner like that could actually catch the romantic eye of any girl who looks like Sophie Marceau? Please. If I ever snatched the dog of a woman of looks and means, I’d wake every day with the DOG in my bed for the rest of it’s miserable life. I couldn’t catch the eye of Ever Carradine and she’s apparently in some sort of weird, Kervorkian-like contest of noses with Owen Wilson.

That said “Joe Dirt” was funny.

Small doses of SNL character’s and skits are fine. Like ice cream, they go down in clean and smooth little bits and I could occasionaly burb up a bit of Conehead or Mary Katherine Gallagher, say “Excuse me” and wander from the room. But think of this: When was the last time you went to an ice cream buffett? A spoonful of ice cream is fine but eating it by the handful is an experience best left to people with a tube that bypasses the stomach and drains directly into Mr Creosote’s bucket. As well, the glut of SNL based movies is staggering and the weight of SNL actors in films approaches the equivilent of Bill Clinton’s gut when he ran around the country pretending he was Phil Hartman in a McDonald’s sketch.

This product is placed in every aspect of film. When was the last time you ever saw an SNL cast member in a movie without thinking “How long was he/she/they on the show?” You can’t look at Will Ferrell in a film, no matter how funny or serious it is, without comparing his performance to his channeling of Steve Butabi. You think I’m kidding? Which Shrek did you see without sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation of the donkey blurting out “Hi. I’m Butwheet” or the jolly green asking “Are you looking at me bum? Are you?”

The myriad of characters cross refference our conscieness like the next Perseids meteor shower. We get confused as to what is real, what is good, what sucks or what we really should or should not watch. We sit and stare at the movie screen like stoner’s trying to focus on which dot in the star field will become the Enterprise. Rather than shouting “Geez. Not again!” when a new SNL skit makes it to the screen, there are those that apparently decided that spending money on the “Superstar” movie was a wise thing to do, plunked down $7.50 to allow the fact they are a moron to sink in rather than staying home and just crushing down more tinfoil on their head.

SNL keeps plugging away because they know there a minority of fans that will watch anything from the show. The more skits or characters or actors from the show they get on the big screen, the more money will fill the corporate coffer. And that’s where we come in. Stop. Stop it. No more of Meyer’s “satirical” takes on life. Halt Will Ferrell before he lampoons another sporting event. Advise Miller to stick to Monday Night Football. Chevy, dude, it’s over. And for god’s sake, please, PLEASE, somebody tell Rob Schnieder that he’s not really a gigalo. He can’t do it, Happy.

These folks are funny in bits but let’s keep it new. If there was anyone who saw the “Wayne’s World” Top 10 the other night and didn’t get the same, sick feeling you had when Ross Perot was running for office, please email me. You need help.

Thanks for another great review. I did enjoy it so.

You know there is a funny movie that could be made with this character if Myers didn’t feel the need to resort to the most infantile gags possible.

Horrifying.

Very good review, Phillip.