Action stars like Jackie Chan and Jet Li are a dying breed. You know the sort I’m talking about — the ones that have little skill in the way of real “acting,” but still exude an undeniable charisma on screen, do all their own stunts, and possess an uncanny ability for self-deprecation and deadpan humor. Most of ours here in the West have gone on to governing states, but our Eastern friends are still going (relatively) strong in the film world. Jackie Chan is now in his 50s and Jet Li is almost as old (45), but this film marks the first time they’ve shared the screen. And, as you would expect, there is no shortage of awesomeness.

And yet, one can’t shake the notion that this is their swansong. I don’t mean to say that neither one of them will ever make a film again; it’s just that the overall tone of this movie is so 1980s that you’ll want to pull out a calendar, just to make sure that it is, in fact, 2008. The whole thing plays out like a hodgepodge of The Karate Kid, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, and The Neverending Story, with shades of The Wizard of Oz and Gremlins thrown in for good measure. If you’re over twelve, I guarantee you’ve seen this movie at least once before.

There’s a frame story here, which adds nothing to the film (and arguably detracts from it). The de facto main character, Jason (Michael Angarano, who is billed last on the posters-and rightfully so) is a teen growing up in south Boston who loves Hong Kong martial arts movies. He’s mercilessly picked on by bullies (he doesn’t actually know martial arts…yet), who also turn out to be petty thugs, and use him to break into his favorite Chinatown shop. They shoot the elderly owner, and in the resulting scuffle, Jason is knocked unconscious while holding a mysterious staff.

The whole thing is done as homage to this overly earnest believe-in-yourself variety of 1980’s family entertainment; in other words, the filmmakers here appear to be aware of the movie’s overall badness. This takes some of the edge off, but at this point, we have to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that Angarano (who’s a terrible, terrible actor, and is almost as bad in the action scenes) can now take a backseat to what we came to see — namely, Chan and Li, kicking butt (to use another meme that’s been cliché since the early 90’s).

Anyway, Jason is transported (in his dreams? or maybe for real? you decide!) to a fantastical take on medieval China, where the evil Jade Warlord (Collin Chou) has turned the benevolent Monkey King to stone, and seized control during the Jade Emperor’s absence. In order to restore order to the kingdom and return home (having learned valuable lessons that apply to the current problems he’s facing, of course), Jason must return the staff to the petrified Monkey King.

Okay, yeah, the plot’s complete and total garbage, and the script is even worse (the characters are called upon to deliver such timeless lines as “Damn! This desert is hot!” and “She will kill you, witch!” “Not if I kill you first, orphan bitch!”), but, well, it’s not like they didn’t warn you. This is completely, totally, a martial arts picture, and martial arts films with good scripts simply don’t exist (I just know I’m gonna get pummeled in the comments section for saying that). The whole point of this film is watching Jackie and Jet whale on people, and this is nothing short of thrilling. Both actors play dual roles in the film — Chan as Lu Yan, a traveling scholar, and as the elderly proprietor of the south Boston store; Li as both the Monkey King and a silent monk — and all of these characters are martial arts masters. The Chan-Li fight takes place fairly early in the film, but it alone is worth the price of admission. Choreographer Yuen Woo Ping wisely shies away from the post-Matrix/Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon school of choreography (namely, where anyone can do any impossible thing that they want, thus rendering the fights completely meaningless), instead using occasional reality-bending moments when a fight needs to go to “eleven” (so to speak). For the most part, this is real people doing real Kung Fu, and it’s incredible. Combine it with stunning cinematography and pitch-perfect sound editing (you literally feel every blow), and you’ve got a feast for the senses here.

The Forbidden Kingdom is wholly a genre picture, and nothing more. It revels in its own cheesiness, and makes no attempts to convert the unconverted. At the same time, it’s thrilling to see that Chan and Li both still have it. If you’re a fan of martial arts pictures at all, you owe it to yourself to see this film.