In Theaters Sep 30 2009 @ 05:47 am
REVIEW: Jennifer’s Body
Directed By: Karyn Kusama
Written By: Diablo Cody
Starring: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody, Johnny Simmons
Running Time: 102 minutes
Rated R for sexuality, bloody violence, language and brief drug use
So, like, there are these Satanists, right? And they think this girl is, like, a virgin and stuff — but she’s like, totally not, okay? But then they sacrifice her anyway, so then she has, like, a demon dwelling in her reanimated body, which totally blows, and then she has to eat people to stay alive, which blows even more, am I right? Like, duh.
Now this girl — who’s totally captain of the cheerleading squad and stuff — is, y’know, like an unholy monster from hell. And, like, when she eats people she’s hot like that cute-butt-of-the-month girl that the boys all like, Megan Fox? But when she doesn’t, she gets all splotchy and stuff, and looks like Megan Fox probably does when she forgets her makeup, or whatever. You can totally see the dilemma, right?
Anyway, this one is the new one written by that Diablo Cody chick — she’s like some sort of skanky stripper or something? She wrote that movie Juno, which I guess was one of those Oscar movies that smart people go to? Whatever. People are always talking about the “sophomore slump” (which is totally that girl in my French class, am I right? burn!), and, like, maybe that’s what’s going on here? This one has all that dialogue filled with a bunch of slang that I’m pretty sure Diablo just made up, but, like, without any of the interesting characters to say it. It’s, like, so annoying. This Diablo lady’s like 30 years old! You’re not that cool, okay Diablo? Gawd, I hope I don’t live to be 30.
It's like 'Carrie.' But, y'know, different.
So like, okay, some people tell me that back in the 60’s and 70’s, when like, old people were alive, there was a genre of movie called “exploitation,” where horror movies would have ridiculous plots and then be, like, full of gore and nudity to get people to come see them. And maybe that’s what she’s going for? But, there’s like almost no gore in this movie, and no nudity at all! It’s definitely kept at PG-13 levels, which I totally don’t get, since there’s, like, a butt-ton of f-bombs. And then they’re, like, all trying to shock me with a lesbian kiss? It’s like, welcome to 1996, Diablo!
Okay, so I totally don’t want to blame just Diablo here, because the director was Karyn Kusama, and she made that terrible Aeon Flux movie that nobody likes, so whatever. And also, like, there’s definitely some good stuff here. There’s some pretty funny jokes about how indie rock music sucks, and some stuff about female sexuality that they tell me is “vaguely Freudian,” whatever the hecks that means. But really, it all ends up just feeling like a long episode of Buffy, and that so isn’t enough if you’re trying to impress those weird Hot Topic kids. So whatever, right? I mean, like, I liked it, but I don’t know who I’d recommend it to, right?
Anyway, now I totally need a shower.
on Sep 30 2009 @ 6:49 am 1. Robert S said …
So, not watching this, got it.
on Sep 30 2009 @ 7:40 am 2. Film-Book dot Com said …
I liked parts of Aeon Flux. That film should not have been made as PG-13.
They shot nude scenes for Jennifer’s Body but they were cut. There have been pictures (swimming in the lake and getting out of the water) of them online since mid-summer.
What a disappointment this film was. I thought I would review it but I would rather but my review energies into a good horror film, like Trick r’ Treat. Jennifer’s Body starts out well (”I’m a Kicker”) and then crashes. Three interesting scenes do not a great or even a good horror film make. The film actually ended up being worse than Friday the 13th (2009), a decidedly horrific accomplishment.
JENNIFER’S BODY “We can play Mommy and Daddy” Clip
http://film-book.com/jennifers-body-play-mommy-daddy-clip/
Jennifer’s Body RED BAND MOVIE TRAILER
http://film-book.com/jennifers-body-red-band-movie-trailer/
on Sep 30 2009 @ 4:12 pm 3. Marina Antunes said …
Eh. Nice review – definitely fun to read. As for the movie itself, I liked this much more than I liked Juno. True, it’s far from gory and at times it tries too hard but I found Fox managed to pull off Cody’s dialogue in a way that works and yes, some of the jokes are funny (am I the ONLY ONE that laughed at the Aquamarine/sushi/blow hole joke?).
I had fun.
on Oct 01 2009 @ 1:24 pm 4. Evan Derrick said …
I never jumped on the Diablo-Cody-hate train that left the station shortly after she won her Oscar, but after reading her column in Entertainment Weekly, reading various reviews of “Jennifer’s Body” online, and thinking back to what it was I really did enjoy about “Juno,” I’ve come to the conclusion that Cody is not my cup ‘o tea. And that’s putting it nicely.
on Oct 05 2009 @ 7:06 pm 5. Rick said …
So, like, you makin’ fun of me, dude?
on Oct 05 2009 @ 7:44 pm 6. Luke Harrington said …
Rick, I’ve always wanted to hear a sermon in valspeak. If you ever give one, send an MP3 my way.
on Mar 30 2010 @ 5:26 pm 7. Alfonso Sawczyszyn said …
Godaddy coupon codes bulletin. Almost all of the frequent Godaddy.com promo codes have just changed. Here are new coupons that are all working. These promo codes will save you money thru 2010 and 2011. $7.49 .com Domains and Manual renewals – Use Godaddy coupon codes ZINE10, GOO3, or OK9. 25% discount on orders of $100+ – Use Go Daddy promo code OK25. 30% Discount when you buy any com domain – Use Godaddy coupon code OK30. $12.99 SSL Certificates – Use Go Daddy coupon codes GOOSSL, OKSSL, or ZINESSL. Hosting Plan Discount – 20% Hosting Discount – Use Go Daddy coupons OK20H, ZINE20H1 or GOO20H. 10% off any size order – Use Godaddy.com promo codes OK7, GOO1 or ZINE8. $5 Off $30 or More – Use Go Daddy coupons GOO2 or ZINE9. 20% Off Any order of $50 or more – Use Go Daddy promo code OK8.
on Jul 17 2010 @ 1:37 am 8. demudifier ratings said …
Megan Fox is super hot! I seriously like her.
on Aug 16 2010 @ 6:15 pm 9. restaurant city cheat said …
Thanks very much for your great website;this is the stuff that keeps me on track through these day. I’ve been looking around for your site after asked to visit them from a colleague and was pleased when I found it after searching for awhile. Being a demanding blogger, I’m dazzled to see others taking initivative and contributing to the community. Just wanted to comment to show my support for your blog as it’s very interesting, and many bloggers do not get authorization they deserve. I am sure I’ll be back and will spread the word to my friends.
on Nov 03 2010 @ 1:13 pm 10. Storage Chest · said …
Megan Fox on Jennifers body is just beautiful and very hot girl “”
on Nov 08 2010 @ 2:16 am 11. humidifiers reviews said …
Jennifer is the best!
on Dec 02 2010 @ 1:08 am 12. False Nails %0A said …
Megan Fox really looks so yummy and sexy on the movie Jennifers Body :”,
on Dec 17 2010 @ 12:29 pm 13. Brandee Renn said …
You made a few fine points there. I did a search on the matter and found the majority of persons will go along with with your blog.
on Jun 14 2011 @ 2:32 am 14. schwinn 230 said …
Hi. I am visiting your site again to see more of your updated posts. I think it is so great, that I have actually gone ahead and linked to your site (dofollow) from here: http://reviewedcentre.com/websites-that-i-like/
on Jul 17 2011 @ 11:18 am 15. Canadian Parka said …
Yet another thing I would like to say is that in place of trying to accommodate all your online degree lessons on days and nights that you finish work (as most people are tired when they get home), try to get most of your instructional classes on the saturdays and sundays and only 1 or 2 courses on weekdays, even if it means taking some time away from your weekend. This pays off because on the saturdays and sundays, you will be a lot more rested along with concentrated on school work. Thanks alot : ) for the different recommendations I have mastered from your blog.