In Theaters Aug 12 2009 @ 03:41 pm
REVIEW: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Directed By: Stephen Sommers
Written By: Stuart Beattie David Elliot Paul Lovett
Starring: Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Christopher Eccleston, Ray Park, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Christopher Eccleston
Running Time: 107 minutes minutes
Rated PG-13 for strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout
The last of the big summer movies has arrived. The Joes are here and waiting to blow stuff up and I’m all for it. G.I. Joe is one of those movies that doesn’t ask much of you. It presents you with over-the-top mad scientist villains, butt-kicking babes in skin-tight outfits, ninjas, enough cool hardware to make Inspector Gadget blush, explosions…and Marlon Wayans.
The movie stars Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans as Duke and Ripcord, two military boys with maxed-out stats who are given the task of transporting a new prototype weapon. They are attacked on the way to the rendezvous point by an unknown enemy with bigger guns, then are saved by a secret military faction known as G.I. Joe. The Joes, led by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid) are the best of the best and take on the military jobs that nobody else can. Long story short, our two heroes join the Joes after proving themselves in training simulations .
On the baddie side of things we have McCullen (played by former Dr. Who Christopher Eccleston) a weapons dealer who wants to test out his green stuff on Paris and take over the world with his organization called M.A.R.S. On McCullen’s payroll are The Doctor (an unrecognizable Joseph Gordon-Levitt), an evil scientist with hidden higher aspirations, The Baroness (Sienna Miller), a sexy sadist who has a history with Duke and more leather outfits than there are cast members, and finally, the ninja who only wears white, Storm Shadow (Byung-Hun Lee). Together with their army of brainwashed soldiers, they will take over the world unless our good ol’ Joes can save the day.
The movie was very fun to watch. Whether you’re a fan of G.I. Joe or just high-octane summer action flicks, there’s enough cool stuff here to keep you smiling. The movie is filled with action, explosions and Baroness cleavage, but they manage to squeeze in back story periodically throughout the movie so that we can care about the pretty people on screen. The dialog is full of cheese that might make you wince, but you’ll be having too much fun to let it bother you. Director Stephen Sommers has upped Michael Bay in several ways here. While Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen contained plenty of explosions and eye candy to boot, it was held back by overstaying its welcome with a dragging third act, and adding one teaspoon middle school humor for every cup of cool robot-action.
G.I. Joe is the kind of movie where you don’t need to completely turn your brain off, and it doesn’t insult your intelligence, but reminds you what summer action movies based on five-inch toys should be. If you’re able to sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy the spectacle then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.
on Aug 14 2009 @ 9:46 am 1. Maurice said …
My son and I were discussing this film just last night. More, we were arguing for the lack of originality that seems to pervade Hollywood like the stink of Mickey Rourke after a wild night of WWF appearances and boozing at the local cat house. My son and I feel that Hollywood has finally given in to the need of the populace (and I mean world wide) to be spoon fed a diet of mindless entertainment that has invaded the space where we once had films and TV shows that made us think and reason. Instead of new ideas, we get reconstituted pap pulled from the minds of writers who “grew up watching” whatever.
I can remember back in the day when cable had one channel: HBO. It was a resource for those of us that were unable to see “R” rated films in a time before there was an “R” rating. First film I saw on HBO? “Dirty Harry” and that film couldn’t get an “R” rating now if they had devised its own alphabet. 25 years later came the announcement that cable was adding the Cartoon channel, Bravo and 3 more ESPN channels. Of course, to do this they had to sacrifice the Need-To-Learn-Anything-of-Value channel and the Last-Shred-of-Our-Dignity channel.
Did I say spoon fed? It’s more like a G tube the size of the one that fat guy in Mexico had inserted in order to get the lard pumped directly into his tummy. No loss of calories because of the energy used by having to swallow. Hey! He now has a reality show on the We-Steal-Our-Ideas-From-Jerry-Springer channel.
Look, the day that writers found that they could bypass a writing paragraph by inserting the word “BOOM” began a slow slide of intellect that rapidly turned into an avalanche of apathy which threatens the very fabric of our Hollywood reality. We have allowed the written word to be replaced with a series of explosions, effects and stunts that, in turn, deprives us of the thought process that forces us to make decisions and reason plotlines. Further, they no longer bother to even talk about films. Most movies goers arrive with pen and paper so that they can write down the goofs they notice in order to run to the lobby and text the results to Movie Mistakes in order to be first on the home page. Instead of looking for a solution in the plot, they want to find how many times Data used a contraction. But is it really their fault that they are forced to watch the same tired plots over and over?
The last original idea I saw in a film was “Bubba-Ho-Tep” and it was brilliant. Elvis and a black JFK fight a soul sucking mummy. It was brilliant. Sadly, it was an idea from a novella but still, it got made. 25 years ago I watched a film that was very cerebral and had some of the best dialog ever. “My Dinner with André” was a joy to see and original in concept: Two friends having dinner and talking. How many times have you done this and thought “This should be a movie?” The answer is never because you, like the rest of the, no longer believe that your thoughts, opinions and conversations are interesting enough to be filmed, even though we have seen a wagon load of crappy prat falls on the Funniest Video show. However, if your conversation involves ninjas, CGI monsters or light sabers, well, you just might have a chance.
I’m not bashing “G. I. Joe” as it was a fun film. My son won’t see it because he wants originality. There’s a happy median there but no one is trying to find it. Movies are no longer churned out just so that we have something to watch. Movies are a money fueled machine that all involved with are standing behind to collect on the back end profit and everyone is holding up a wash tub to catch as much as they can. We need them to refocus on the content of the text arther than blowing up another shape changing robot.
Thanks for your great review.
on Aug 14 2009 @ 11:42 am 2. Steve C. King said …
Thanks Maurice. I get what you’re saying. I gave up on the “Originality” argument a long time ago. I see so many movies that I don’t believe this argument to be true. I just saw two of them( District 9 and Ponyo) within the last twelve hours. Nowadays a great many movies come out and the ones that get the most press are remakes or adaptations. I won’t get on to a person for not wanting to assist the Hollywood moneymakingmachine, rather I would just say to look harder. there are typically two to four movies that come out weekly. Chances are one of the two that aren’t featured on every magazine cover might be what you’re looking for
thanks for reading though, and I respect and empathize with what you’ve said. In short, there are days when I want to have my mind bent and emotions rattled, and days when I wanna watch two guys run around Paris in accelerator suits
Thanks again
Steve
on Aug 14 2009 @ 12:21 pm 3. Luke Harrington said …
Maurice, you’re back! Missed your comments, man.
Also: Preach it, brotha. Bubba Ho-tep is one of my favorite flicks from the last several years, and you’re dead-on about the general dearth of originality. I can second the recommendation of District 9, though…there’s arguably never been a film quite like it. (I hope to have a review up soon-ish).
on Aug 23 2009 @ 1:58 pm 4. Film-Book dot Com said …
“…and Marlon Wayans”
Lol.
“While Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen contained plenty of explosions and eye candy to boot, it was held back by overstaying its welcome with a dragging third act”
I believe that G.I Joe was better than Transformers:ROTF as well. For one thing, the fights were more violent and involved human vs. human.
Hay Stephen, in your opinion, did G.I Joe have any of the 6 Things Needed for Success: http://film-book.com/6-gi-joe-rise-cobra-succeed/
on Aug 23 2009 @ 2:01 pm 5. Film-Book dot Com said …
It definitely did not have #6. No one would miss that.
on Dec 18 2009 @ 1:06 am 6. BUMMER - said …
This movie was nothing like the original 80s toy series….WTF ? REally? couldnt even have the original gi joe song? and you know what song im talking about…ha. Action sure a -couple- carecters from the original sure …but its just crap …………….
on Mar 28 2010 @ 4:45 pm 7. ninja trainer said …
Nice content, thanks for the information.
on Apr 18 2010 @ 2:21 pm 8. Tad Szady said …
ought to
on Apr 18 2010 @ 6:33 pm 9. Richard Gabourel said …
Good shit, you should check out Jake Shields and Mayham Millers post fight Strikeforce brawl from last night!
on Nov 24 2010 @ 12:00 pm 10. Fabric Shower Curtain %0A said …
i like chaning tatum because he has a great body, just look at those chest muscles `:”