Release Dates Jun 10 2008 @ 08:15 am
DVD Releases for June 10, 2008
Yet another week with not much to recommend. Doing these posts week after week I’ve come to truly realize how little quality product Hollywood puts out. Right, right, that’s like saying the I just realized the pope wears a big white hat, but having to comb through the releases each week brings that truth into stark relief. Also, there is a theme this week, mainly because I’m bored.
The Grand
Ok, Jumper was my top pick of the week until I just saw the trailer for this one. It’s a mockumentary (ugh…I have to find another word to use) about a high stakes poker tournament that stars Woody Harrelson, David Cross, Jason Alexander, and Werner Herzog. Yes, that Werner Herzog, the irascible German director who directed Aguirre, the Wrath of God, Fitzcarraldo, and The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser (and a whole bunch of other films, including the recent Rescue Dawn), three movies that you a) probably haven’t seen, b) should go out and watch immediately, and c) will probably hate with ever fiber of your being. I typically hate fussy auteurs (I’m looking at you, David Lynch), but for some reason I adore all of Herzog’s work. The trailer actually wasn’t that funny, but I will gladly watch it just to see Herzog talk about killing bunnies.
Recommended if you liked Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, or if you (like me) have an inexplicable Werner Herzog fetish.
Jumper
My (former) top pick for the week, although that isn’t saying much. As many of you may now realize, my guilty pleasure is the FX laden action flick, and I will dip into that pool repeatedly no matter how many turds I come up with. This one probably falls somewhere in the middle. Anakin Skywalker magically flits from New York skyscrapers to the Sphinx to wherever the heck he wants, while the irascible Mace Windu hunts him down with a shiny stick thingy. Mmmmm, sounds like an evening of intelligent highbrow entertainment, no? Director Doug Liman did do the first Bourne flick, so it can’t be all that bad. And if nothing else, watching Sam Jackson yell at stuff is always worth a good two hours.
Recommended if you’ve always felt that Night Crawler got gypped for not getting his own spin-off franchise.
Hit the jump for more stunning DVD masterpieces.
The Signal
This is one of those films with each act by a different director (3, to be exact) that proves that unless directors are related to one another, they shouldn’t even attempt to co-direct a film. Apparently there is this TV/radio signal that turns people into homicidal maniacs, and blah blah blah blah you know the drill. The intriguing first act is followed by a bizarrely comic second one only to conclude with a distressingly bleak finale. If you don’t mind being jerked around like a marionette, you might enjoy the low-budget horror on display. However, if you’re looking for chilling horror as seen through the eyes of 3 different directors, I would instead recommend 3 Extremes featuring pieces by Fruit Chan, Takashi Mike, and the irascible Park Chan-wook. Actually I wouldn’t really recommend it, but you know what I mean.
Recommended if you found Four Rooms and 3 Extremes to be intriguing experiments.
The Other Boleyn Girl
Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman fight over Eric Bana! Aristocratic cat fighting ensues! Medieval mud wrestling at it’s finest! Well, no, not really, I’m sure the proceedings are all kinds of stuffy and pretentious, chock full of too-tight bodices and purple velvet breeches (boy there’s a fashion style that needs to make a comeback). This got middling reviews, but if you’ve got an irascible itch that can only be scratched by drama involving King Henry VIII, then I’m going to direct you to the wonderful A Man For All Seasons or Showtime’s The Tudors.
Recommended if you like The Tudors and just can’t wait for the 3rd season to come out.
The Bucket List
If you told me Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson were in the same film, I would generally see it sight unseen. It is almost (but not quite) as good a pairing as Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. But in the case of The Bucket List I could care less. About two terminally ill geezers who discover a new lease on life by going down a list of “things to do before I die” and doing all of them, the trailer was one groan away from a hernia. Cue geriatric keystone cops slapstick. Perhaps our faithful readers will give me the same irascible beatdown they gave me last week for dissing Control, but in this instance I’m guessing not.
Recommended if you liked About Schmidt but wished it had been a lamer.
Witless Protection
Every barrel needs a bottom, every king needs a fool, and every village needs an idiot. Thankfully, Larry the Cable Guy is here to save the day. I’m certain that the same thought and care went into making this film as went into Larry choosing his stage name, so you know you’re in for a real treat, especially when you find out that Jenny McCarthy, that irascible thespian for the ages, co-stars. Oh gosh, I can’t write any more, as I think I feel my breakfast coming up.
Recommended if you hate humanity.
on Jun 10 2008 @ 11:53 am 1. Daniel said …
Wow, now we’re getting to the really bad part of the year. I’ve only seen Jumper, which received the worst grade I’ve ever handed out. That’s not saying too much because I typically avoid bad movies (I’d rather come here and hear about Luke’s suffering through them), but it is saying that Jumper is the worst movie I’ve seen all year and nothing else has come close. In that spirit, I recommend you see it and make your own puffy statement. Besides, it’s always good to see a horrid movie so you can truly appreciate the excellent ones.
on Jun 10 2008 @ 12:34 pm 2. Colleen said …
I am excited to finally get to see The Grand. My friend Marina was going on about just how great Herzog was in the film. I doesn’t suprise me, as I loved Herzog in “Incident at Loch Ness”. Everyone should be forced to watch Fitzcarraldo at least once. Loved it to bits, and don’t need to see it for along time! Boring but Awesome would be my discription.
Jumper: I was unable to give the movie a rating at all. I fell asleep during it in the theatre. This is a huge inditment against the film in my mind as I never fall asleep in the theatre. Action film = Comatose state (something seriously wrong). I am official done hoping Anikin will ever become a real actor.
Other Bolyen Girls : I Watched sole to look at the pretty costumes
Bucket List: It was just a paycheck film for to heavyweights. Put Nicholson and Freeman on a Marquee, sell alot of tickets. Only when because my Mom want to see it. She Liked it, I didn’t. Maybe you have to be closer to death to understand.
on Jun 10 2008 @ 1:16 pm 3. Evan Derrick said …
Wow, lotta love for Jumper, eh? Knowing my guilty pleasure addiction, I’ll probably watch it regardless of how terrible I know it will be. Sometimes you just gotta have a brainless action flick, even if you hate yourself afterwards.
Colleen, looking forward to see The Grand as well although from what I’ve heard it doesn’t live up to the promise of it’s premise. But promise be darned, it has Werner freaking Herzog in it! And David Cross, aka Tobias from Arrested Development. And really, who doesn’t love Tobias?
on Jun 10 2008 @ 1:24 pm 4. Luke Harrington said …
I do it all for you, man.
Unfortunately, I enjoy bad movies waaay more than my SAT scores would suggest. I have absolutely no excuse for this.
But someone in the blag-O-sphere has to be the one warning people to turn back. And I’ll take that niche if no one else wants it.
on Jun 10 2008 @ 1:38 pm 5. Ryan Dunlap said …
I saw Jumper opening night on Valentine’s Day by myself… my wife was working a night shift… and I came to the conclusion that the eye candy is tasty, but for the whole content of the film being about being able to condense one’s time between places… the trailer served a more interesting version of basically most of the cool effects in the film, thus epitomizing Jumper more than the film could.
Overall, once I got past the stiff Anakin acting, it was enjoyable (only salvaged by the high concept and effects).
-Ryan
on Jun 10 2008 @ 3:41 pm 6. Craig Kennedy said …
I may be in a small minority of people who really liked The Grand. If you like Herzog in front of the camera at all, you have to see it.
on Jun 10 2008 @ 3:49 pm 7. Evan Derrick said …
Badabing, I’m sold!
on Jun 10 2008 @ 4:39 pm 8. Sean Comeaux said …
watching Sam Jackson yell at stuff IS worth 2 hours. hahaha. Yeah bucket list sounds like a yawner… and as for The Grand, I’m interested!
on Jun 10 2008 @ 7:11 pm 9. Joseph said …
Yeah, feel guilty, Evan.
The Grand looks awesome.
on Jun 11 2008 @ 12:57 am 10. Matthew Lucas said …
Didn’t see “Prom Night” did you Daniel?
on Jun 11 2008 @ 7:14 am 11. Evan Derrick said …
What, are you kidding Matthew? “Prom Night” is the slasher epic of the year, destined to become a cult classic years down the road.
Also, the apocalypse is upon us.
on Jun 11 2008 @ 7:15 am 12. Colleen said …
Prom Night had the strangest release I have seen in BC. We are a decent size market (vancouver/bc) so we do usually get a lot of films open here. Prom Night opened not in Vancouver, but in Abbotsford, a good hour+ from Vancouver. One theatre, One Screen in a small community far from the third biggest market in Canada. I actually wanted to see that film, but the distance was way too far to see a film on a lark! Let alone anyone that depends on transit would be out of luck.
on Jun 11 2008 @ 8:58 am 13. Evan Derrick said …
Colleen, I’m guessing it was released that way to fulfill some kind of international contractual obligation. That happens a lot of times with craptacular films – the film gets shelved for years, but because of an existing contract, it’s pushed into the fewest theaters possible and given zero marketing exposure, basically the minimum amount of effort required to meet the terms of the contract. This happened with Idoiocracy a few years back.
It got a strong push in the states (wasn’t it the #1 film of the week?), but perhaps it was deemed unsuitable for the Canadian market, but because of a prior obligation, they had to release it somewhere, so they got the cheapest theater they could and shoved it in there.
on Jun 11 2008 @ 8:52 pm 14. Joseph said …
A RedBox popped up, seemingly overnight, a few miles away. And they have The Grand. Yay.
on Jun 12 2008 @ 5:42 pm 15. Craig Kennedy said …
Keep your expectations modest for The Grand, I don’t want a bunch of people coming after me if they hate it.
on Jun 12 2008 @ 6:24 pm 16. Colleen said …
Herzog is never a complete waste of time!
on Jun 13 2008 @ 10:54 am 17. Joseph said …
Just watched The Grand today; thought it was good. Herzog is awesome, although the role is pretty minor.
on Jun 18 2008 @ 11:06 am 18. Ron Heller said …
Where can one suggest old movies to release on DVD?
Three that I would like to see (in Region 1 format)are:
A Boy Ten Feet Tall (Sammy Goes South in the UK)
Who Dares Wins (The Final Option)
The Odd Angry Shot
on Jun 18 2008 @ 12:18 pm 19. Evan Derrick said …
Appreciate your comment, Ron, but I’m not sure what kind of power you think we wield here at MovieZeal. You might do better to contact the owners of said films about having them released on DVD.
Hold on while I check with my man-slave, Luke…nope, not even the stupendous powers of the man-slave can get those films released on DVD.
on Jun 18 2008 @ 1:16 pm 20. Luke Harrington said …
I tried to start one of those ridiculous online petitions, but it turns out my stupendous powers can only be used for good.
on Jun 18 2008 @ 2:49 pm 21. Colleen said …
Herzog was awesome in the grand, I just wish he was in every scene of the film.
on Jun 18 2008 @ 5:51 pm 22. Phillip Johnston said …
I’d watch anything featuring Werner Herzog talking. I could listen to him all day. I’ll also have a review of Encounters at the End of the World up in the next couple weeks. It’s interesting in that it distills all of Herzog’s weird fascinations (strange people, “I’d-never-wanna-go-there locales”, unique life stories, etc.) into one film.
The Bucket List is horrendous. Nicholson overacts and Freeman looks out of place. There’s a scene where they both laugh together near the end … probably one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on film.