It’s a good week to be a horror fan. There are really only two major releases, and both of them are horror. So…there you have it.

[REC]
The original Spanish version of that horror movie called Quarantine. I didn’t see Quarantine, but I did see [REC], and while I wasn’t blown away, it was a very well-made horror film that managed to maintain its tension despite a complete lack of new ideas. This one falls into the “found footage” category, like The Blair Witch Project, Diary of the Dead, Cloverfield, etc., etc., and it tells the story of a virus that turns people into bloodthirsty zombies. See what I mean? No new ideas. But if you’re looking for a good horror film, this is it — and these days, that’s saying something.

See it if you liked any of the movies I mention above.

Welcome to Macintosh
Your non-horror choice for the week, this documentary tells the story of the rise of Apple Computer. It’s a story that’s been told to death (Pirates of Silicon Valley is still worth seeing, by the way, even if it’s a bit cheesy and dated), but who knows? This picture could still have something interesting to say — even if the filmmakers did fail to interview either founding Steve (Jobs or Wozniak). I can’t find a review anywhere, but it could be worth a look. Possibly.

See it if you’re one of those obnoxious people who are always whipping their iPhones out in order to reinforce their hipster cred

The Haunting in Connecticut
Um…wow. Where do I start with this one? Which well-deserved witty barb should I fling at it first? Here, take your pick: (1) You know it’s a horror film because it has “The Haunting” in the title!!! (2) It’s a shame that non-horror films haven’t yet discovered the joy of pairing gerunds with definite articles. (3) If Jesus had known that the image of a crucifixion would be exploited out the wazoo in order to sell tickets to terrible horror movies, would he have gone through with it? (4) What’s great about that title is the ebb and flow of tension: it’s not just a haunting…it’s IN CONNECTICUT!!! (That’s right, the Nutmeg State!!! You’re terrified now, aren’t you?) (5) The only way to improve that title? Make it The Haunting…in Connecticut…BY GHOSTS!!! …Um, there. I think those about cover it, right? Feel free to add your own in the comments section below.

See it if you honestly don’t consider your time valuable. At all.