Viggo Mortenson in Ed Harris's 'Appaloosa'

And the releases just keep on comin’. What I’ve found odd is how few new releases hit right before Christmas, and how many have hit immediately following. You’d think that retailers would capitalize on Xmas fever and dump all of their product early December, but December was a bit lean for new DVDs. But geez, look at the glut this week.

Appaloosa
Ed Harris tries his hand at directing a gritty, shades-of-gray Western, although the results were not widely appreciated amongst critics or filmgoers. Viggo Mortenson, Jeremy Irons, and Renee Zelwegger also star (as well as the director himself); and with a cast like that, it’s hard to say ‘no.’ Craig Kennedy bestowed 3 shoulder-shrugging stars upon it, which is better than, you know, no stars.

Recommended if you liked Unforgiven, 3:10 to Yuma, or The Proposition.

Blindsight
A documentary that begins by being about a group of blind, Tibetan children who set out to climb Lhakpa-Ri, a 23,000 ft. sister summit to Everest, and ends by being so much more. Part window into another culture, part extreme sports video, part human drama, Blindsight sounds riveting. Daniel Getahun gave it an A- back in June, so you know it’s worth a looksee.

Recommended if you liked Touching the Void. Which, by the way, if you haven’t seen, rent immediately!

Our Daily Bread
I don’t exactly know what this film is about, but I’m fascinated nonetheless. I believe it’s a montage of images chronicling the journey our food takes from the farms to the processing plants to the stores to our tables. It’s not making a statement, per se, simply engaging you in the process of how we get our daily bread. The production notes call it “a wide-screen tableau of a feast which isn’t always easy to digest – and in which we all take part.”

Recommended if you liked Koyaanisqatsi or Baraka.

Those little lying liars over at Amazon. Vicky Cristina Barcelona doesn’t actually hit DVD until January 27th. 
Vicky Cristina Barcelona –
Woody Allen, the poster boy for overachieving filmmakers, churns out his best work in years (apart from Match Point, which I love – haters can take a trip). I was more enamored with the scenery and the production design than the characters themselves, which are typical self-involved Allen creations, but the performances are top notch even if the scenario is a bit far fetched. Rebecca Hall (Vicky) and Scarlett Johannson (Cristina) run into Javier Bardem (Juan) and Penelope Cruz (Maria Elena) and fireworks and 3-ways ensue, although not necessarily in that order.

Recommended if you either 1) adore Mr. Allen or 2) compulsively watch the Travel Channel.

Humboldt County
A medical student, adrift on the rocky seas of life, finds himself stuck in a backwoods farming community for the summer. Oh, and farmer’s chief export is pot. See the poster there? Yeah, that’s a joint he’s standing on. The tagline reads “Welcome to the Lost Coast,” which I’m guessing is a marijuana referenece, but those things breed like rabbits, so I’m just fine with not knowing every single one. Oooh, I just found an online dictionary for pot slang. Kids these days, what with their green goddesses and their Thai sticks! I tell you what!

Recommended if you like your stoner comedies on the sophisticated side (and really, aren’t all potheads just intellectuals at heart?).

Tokyo Gore Police
So sue me, I can’t resist a title like that. Undoubtedly, the movie has little to offer except obscene amounts of blood and viscera, but sometimes you just gotta scratch that itch. Am I right? Right? Anyone? Yes? I’m not even going to bother looking up the plot synopsis; much like Snakes on a Plane, the title tells you everything you need to know.

Recommended if you, too, harbor a dark side that you don’t tell anyone about. Umm…. I mean, yeah. Whatever.

The Order of Myths
In the heart of the south (Mobile, AL to be exact), Mardi Gras is a deeply segregated affair. This doc follows parties and parades and participants (alliteration for the win!) and hops back and forth across the color line, showing you a world you are likely unfamiliar with, as well as broaching deeper questions of race and identity in our country today. I’m actually planning on taking a vacation just an hour south of Mobile in a few weeks; perhaps I’d better study up on the locals.

Recommended if you secretly watch My Sweet Sixteen but wish it had, you know, more of a racial edge to it.

Brideshead Revisited –
This is, supposedly, a “great” novel. I’ve never read it, nor heard of it, and while I don’t exactly immerse myself in the British classics, I’m not a complete dunderhead when it comes to literature. Purists will point to the 1981 British miniseries as the definitive work (it clocks in at a whopping 659 minutes), but if you like your great works abbreviated, you’ve got the 2 hour version right here. Luke liked it alright, so if you need some good English aristocratic period drama, then here ya go.

Recommended if you’ve burned a hole in your BBC Jane Austen series and desperately need something else.

Mirrors
Keifer Sutherland sees stuff in mirrors. Said stuff then comes out of the mirrors and proceeds to (surprise surprise) terrorize him and his family. Director Alexandra Aja, who was a French horror wunderkind in 2003 with High Tension, has since proven himself a mediocre import to American cinema (his last film was The Hills Have Eyes remake and his next film is Pirahna 3D – no punchline needed).

Recommended if you’re bored. Really bored. Like contemplating-eating-the-paint-off-the-baseboards bored.

Swing Vote –
Wouldn’t it have made more sense to release this on DVD right before the election, rather than afterwards, when everyone is pretty much bored with election politics? Obama the President is much more exciting than Obama vs. McCain, so whatever interest I might have had in this Kevin Costner melodrama about a good-ole-boy with the deciding vote has disappeared completely. Luke gave it 3 1/2 stars, but then again, this seems like the day for straight-down-the-middle average films.

Recommended if you felt The Postman was a misunderstood masterpiece.

Brick Lane
British immigration drama about a young Indian girl caught between two worlds. I’m sorry, I’m sure this is a wonderful film, but I cannot generate any enthusiasm for a premise like that.

Recommended if you, unlike me, go ballistic whenever “immigration drama” and “coming-of-age story” are mentioned in the same sentence.

Patti Smith Dream of Life
The only thing I find less interesting than coming-of-age immigration dramas is musical biopics. Granted, this is a documentary, but that does little to soften the blow for me. Also, is it a terrible thing that I don’t know who Patti Smith is? She does do musical stuff, right? Anybody want to call me a Philistine yet?

Recommended if you think I’m a Philistine.

Family That Preys
And now that I’ve come to the end of my list, I refuse to expend any energy on this. I know I’m in the wrong demographic, but I just don’t get Tyler Perry. At all. (However, I do admit that that is one cool poster.)

Recommended if a chainsaw toting grandmother is the equivalent of crack cocaine to you (heaven help us, it is for some people).