Ghost Town is a film that’s somewhat obviously inspired by M. Night Shyamalan’s hit 90’s horror film The Sixth Sense, and it makes no bones about that — going so far as to use the tagline “He sees dead people…and they annoy him.” As the second half of the line suggests, however, Ghost Town is about as far from a horror film as this sort of story gets. The ghosts here bear no gruesome marks to indicate how they died (although they do wear whatever they died in — making things a bit awkward for those that died in the shower or while engaged in coitus), and you won’t hear a single bloodcurdling scream. No, Ghost Town is a simple romantic comedy — and a very good one, at that.
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Adapted from the play of the same name, Doubt commits the cardinal sin of stage-to-screen films: it fails to add anything of value. The cinematic trappings distract rather than enhance, and one is impressed that the picture pales in comparison to its in-the-flesh predecessor; breathing human beings, a stone’s throw from your seat, would grant the story an intimacy it desperately needs, an intimacy sorely lacking here.
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My Photoshop skills are not what I’d like them to be. Still, I offer this work of art as my Christmas gift to ya’ll. Feel free to print it out, give copies to loved ones, etc. Just spread the love. So anyway, I noticed that lately we’ve been slacking around here. I apologize. Y’know, holidays, and whatnot. I do know that Evan is putting the finishing touches on the latest episode of the podcast, and we have all sorts of awesomeness planned for January (the picture above provides a clue). So don’t go away just yet — none of us are quite ready to join the mass graveyard of neglected blogs.

Anyway…releases. This week’s a big one, mainly because of Christmas. Hollywood assumes you won’t want to do anything besides go to a movie this Thursday, and they’re probably right. But, despite the release date, none of these are particularly “Christmassy.” You’d think some would be, since there are still another eleven days of Christmas after the 25th and all, but nope. Luckily, though, you all have me to tell you which movie is the most Christmassy. Enjoy!

Frost/Nixon

Tenuous Connection to Christmas: There’s an old jolly dude in it. Nixon was jolly, right?

Family Film? Well, hmmm…kids do need to learn their history. Then again, they also need to learn punctuation.

Snarky Comment: It’s a good thing that Ron Howard got this out this year, so he can still feel smug about it.

Recommended if you’re impressed by political activism 30 years after the fact.

Valkyrie

Tenuous Connection to Christmas: A group of German soldiers conspire to assassinate Hitler, presumably to bring about “peace on earth.”

Family Film? Probably not. I’m detecting a distinct lack of “goodwill toward men.” Or at least “goodwill toward men whose names are Adolph Hitler.”

Snarky Comment: Usually, movies set during World War II win Oscars every time someone at the Academy sneezes, but this one probably won’t, since it’s a “thriller,” not a “drama.” On the bright side, that also means it might not be “boring.”

Recommended if you wished James Bond had made a cameo in Schindler’s List

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Tenuous Connection to Christmas: It’s about a guy who lives life backwards, so the plot has a lot of nostalgia built right in.

Family Film? Sounds like a fairytale to me, but its PG-13 rating isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement. (Then again, the kiddies do love that F. Scott Fitzgerald.)

Snarky Comment: It seems like everyone on the Internets is jumping up and down and squealing over this movie but me — I’m not sure what I’m missing. (Evan’s seen it, and he assures me it’s worth the excitement. Take that for what it’s worth.)

Recommended if you liked The Fountain, Pan’s Labyrinth or The Great Gatsby
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No more kid gloves. These are both pretty hard, although the easy poster shouldn’t be impossible for those familiar with classic poster design.

The same old same old: we do this each week at 11AM CST; easy poster worth 1 point, hard poster worth 2. Fox has taken a handy dandy lead, although this week should stick a wrench in his momentum. And we’ll be taking a break next week for obvious holiday related reasons.

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Three years ago, I made the acquaintance of a little horror picture called The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I didn’t walk in with anything resembling high expectations – history told me that horror films about demon possession were, as a rule, terrible (thanks to the fact that genre-definer The Exorcist couldn’t possibly be improved upon, of course), and director Scott Derrickson’s only previous credit was that direct-to-video classic Hellraiser V: Inferno – but I walked out pleasantly surprised. The film was a funky little exercise in eclecticism – combining courtroom drama with spooky atmosphere and jump scares – plus, it spoke somewhat directly to the times, and while it might not have reached Bergman levels of profundity, it surprised me with its depth of emotion and it even made me reexamine bits of my worldview. It wasn’t a particularly well-reviewed film (though it did make the Chicago Film Critics Association’s list of the “Hundred Scariest Movies of All Time”), but it did manage to change the way I thought about horror movies, and – most importantly – it got me interested in Derrickson.

Well, perhaps that interest was a bit misguided. Or perhaps he’s hit a sophomore slump (this being his second theatrical release). Or maybe he’s simply not at his most comfortable working with a script he didn’t write. Or (most likely) he simply can’t make a great film when he’s not working with great talent. But for whatever reason, his latest – a remake of the 1951 science fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still – just doesn’t make it over the bar he’s set for himself.
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Oscar season marches on…in New York and L.A. As for the rest of us, we get the following would-be blockbusters…

The Day the Earth Stood Still
Um…yeah. A remake of the 1951 science fiction classic, starring Keanu Reeves? I admit it sounds like a terrible idea, but then I saw that it’s being directed by Scott Derrickson, who I’m kind of a fan of. He directed 2005’s The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which is a pretty underrated film in my opinion — if you’re ever in the mood for a funky little amalgam of 70’s horror and Inherit the Wind-style courtroom drama, check it out. In any case, I think that Keanu threatens to destroy the world and then doesn’t, or something. That sounds like a good way to spend a reel of film to me.

Recommended if you’ve never seen either of the following: 1. the 1951 The Day the Earth Stood Still; 2. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
It’s a Bollywood romantic-comedy-musical! Who doesn’t love those? What more could you possibly want? Why wouldn’t you want to go? Especially given the other offerings this week…

Recommended if the annual glut of stodgy period dramas has got you down.

Delgo
Yet another computer-animated family movie? We must have done something extra good this year! Actually, truth be told, this one looks watchable, if only for the epic fantasy visuals (which aren’t up to Pixar standards, but then again, nothing is). It also has the obligatory B-list all-star cast (Freddie Prinze, Jr.; Val Kilmer; etc.), in case you’re into that sort of thing.

Recommended if you love Shrek but hate all that irony.

Nothing Like the Holidays
Well, it’s the Christmas season, so it’s time for Hollywood to cash in like it’s going out of style. Fortunately, we don’t have to deal with another fiasco like Elf or Fred Claus, but…honestly, I can’t think of a single reason to see this movie. Then again, it is Christmas-themed. And I’m a sucker for that stuff. And Hollywood knows it. Ugh…one please, Mr. Pimply-faced AMC Theaters Employee.

Recommended if you liked The Family Stone; My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding; or While You Were Sleeping

The theme this week is films that have not yet been released in theaters. They’re coming, and soon, but as of now you will not find them darkening the silver screens of your cineplex.

Quick recap: each Wed. at 11AM CST we run this little game. Easy poster is worth 1 point, Hard poster is worth 2. And…. go go go go go!

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What does up-and-coming African-American director Darnell Martin have in common with veteran white guy Clint Eastwood? It sounds like a lame Hollywood insider joke, but it’s not: They both recently directed bland, by-the-numbers biopics. And unfortunately for Martin, hers isn’t about white people screaming and crying (well — most of it isn’t, anyway), so it hasn’t garnered much Oscar buzz.
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"Peter and the Wolf", winner of the 2007 Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film.

For all intents and purposes, there’s really only one film being released this week. Which is too bad, since a few independent gems might fall into the shadow of the bat, never to be seen again. But that’s what I’m here for.

The Dark Knight –
I don’t need to write much about this. If you’re one of the 2.5 people who haven’t seen it already, nows your chance. It knocked my socks off (literally – they’re lying in a pool of dried Coke on some dirty multiplex floor out there). Will it age well? Is it the masterpiece many (including myself) have claimed it to be? Who the heck knows? It is, however, beyond a shadow of a doubt, one of the most thrilling films of the year. Even if your name is Luke.

Recommended for all non-blind people.

| Purchase The Dark Knight on Blu-ray

Man On Wire
Any other release day, this film would be topping the list. One of the best documentaries of the year, it recounts Philippe Petit’s 1974 act of “performance art terrorism,” in which he strung a cable between the two towers of the World Trade Center and crossed back and forth, using only a pole for balance. Part Ocean’s 11, part Werner Herzog insanity, this is a must-see doc that entertains as often as it takes away breath. See Craig Kennedy’s review for confirmation.

Recommended also for all non-blind people.

| Purchase Man On Wire on Blu-ray

The Rape of Europa: Collector’s Edition –
This one came out a month and a half ago, but they’re now releasing it in a fancy collector’s edition, complete with supplementary interviews and intriguing tidbits. If you missed it once before, don’t let it pass you by a second time (I’m looking at you Daniel Getahun). An absolutely fascinating perspective on a time period that I thought the History Channel had exhausted a long time ago.

Recommended if you liked Stolen, The War, or Who the #$&% is Jackson Pollack?

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This review was originally published August 4th, 2008.

Thank you for your patience. Many factors contributed to the time it took me to write this, not least of all its length, but I hope it was worth the wait, and I hope that you are still interested in reading it.

There is a clear distinction between the film reviewer and the film critic, although at first glance it appears to simply be semantics. The film reviewer writes for the person who has not yet seen the film in question and may not know anything about it. They avoid significant spoilers, spend a great deal of time synopsizing, keep things relatively brief, and cultivate a tone of recommendation: thumbs up or thumbs down, praise or pan, see it now, wait for the DVD, or avoid like the plague. The film critic, on the other hand, writes for the person who has already seen the film. They discuss the internal workings of the movie, wrestle with why it succeeds or fails, and attempt to bring about a deeper understanding of the film’s sociological implications and its place within the culture at large.

I attempt, with varying degrees of success, to combine both of these paradigms in my writing, but The Dark Knight necessitates a more critical approach. In my professional career as a critic so far, it has been the only film that I have required myself to see twice before writing about. Although I am somewhat late to the party, you would have all seen the film whether I told you to or not, so I’m not concerned with the tardiness of this piece. I am also eschewing the guidelines for reviewing, embracing the role of critic instead, so if you’re in the 5% who have yet to see the box office record breaker (rectify that immediately), consider yourself forewarned.
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This review was originally published March 21, 2008.

The work of Dr. Seuss has not had an easy life on the silver screen. Ron Howard’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas should top any conscious filmgoer’s list of worst Christmas films and the even more despicable The Cat in the Hat surely caused more than one heart attack at the Seuss estate. It is with these two films in mind that I walked into Blue Sky Animation’s production of Horton Hears a Who with trepidation. Would Hollywood again ravage the work of my favorite childhood author and leave it bleeding on the side of the road?
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Wow…I never thought I’d be saying this, but this is a pretty good week for new releases. Just when I was starting to fall asleep, Hollywood came through with three very good choices (and one lame one). Go see a movie this weekend…that’s an order.

Nobel Son
Okay, so I put this movie at the top because I was under the impression that it was well-reviewed. Then I checked Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes, and it turns out that it’s not. That’s the last time I listen to you, Wikipedia! Grrr. Still, I can think of a lot of good reasons to see this one: (1.) Alan Rickman, who has never put in a bad performance in his life (if you haven’t seen Bottle Shock, you really should); (2.) a cool-sounding premise that’s half Coen, half Tarantino, and all awesome (Nobel laureate’s dysfunctional family is thrown into turmoil when his son gets kidnapped); and (3.) a catchy title. I know that last one doesn’t sound that important, but seriously — who wants to walk into work on Monday and have to say, “So I saw Riding in Cars with Boys over the weekend…”, or possibly, “You really should check out Life as a House…“? Nobody. That’s who.

Recommended if you want to see Burn After Reading combined with Smart People and filtered through the mind of Steven Spielberg

Cadillac Records
The story of how Leonard Chess founded Chess Records, the Chicago-based blues powerhouse. Okay, so there might not be a huge audience for this one (I can already hear Evan groaning…), but if you know me, you know that I love blues music with all of my soul (pun intended, of course), and there is no way that I’m going to miss this one — particularly since I noticed Mos Def is playing Chuck Berry. That should be interesting. (No word on whether Michael J. Fox will make and appearance.)

Recommended if you liked Ray, The Buddy Holly Story or That Thing You Do!

Milk
It would have to be a good week (and it clearly is) for this one to be my third choice. The true story of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay individual to be elected to office in the U.S., it should be an interesting ride. I can’t promise intellectual depth, but I’m counting on an engaging and challenging story. It stars Sean Penn and was directed by Gus van Sant, so it pretty much screams “Oscar bait”…but if that’s your cup of tea, you can’t go wrong with this one. Watch the trailer here.

Recommended if you like Oscar bait. ‘Nuff said.

Punisher: War Zone
Marvel has, as of late, been hell-bent on immortalizing all of their characters in celluloid, whatever the cost (though frankly I’m wondering where the She-Hulk adaptation is). Their current strategy seems to be to rush as many adaptations out the door as possible, and simply remake the ones that end up sucking (we saw this happen earlier this year with The Incredible Hulk, which was essentially a reboot of Hulk — no word yet on whether we can expect a second reboot in a couple of years). So here it is…the reboot of the Punisher franchise that never was. Frankly, I don’t think I can take another comic book movie (especially after the bloated and overrated Dark Knight…yeah, I said it), but feel free to go if you want. At least Marvel hasn’t been desperately milking the same property since 1989, like a certain other comic book publisher has…

Recommended if you liked the 1989 version of The Punisher, or if you liked the 2004 version of The Punisher, or if you didn’t like either and you’re hoping this one will be better

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father, the film that we have been talking about quite a bit for the past month, will be premiering on MSNBC this coming Sunday at 9PM Eastern, and again at Midnight. The cut will be slightly shorter, but director Kurt Kuenne edited the TV version himself and is “very happy” with it.

Phillip gave it 4 1/2 5 stars (our highest rating) and Sam Juliano of Wonders In the Dark also gave it 5 stars (his highest rating), so if you haven’t seen it yet (and chances are you haven’t) then make sure you don’t miss this opportunity. It’s one of the most powerful films of the year, hands down.

Taybo20 hit the jackpot last week when no competition of any kind presented itself. He has handily sling-shotted himself into the lead. Good luck catching him.

And for those of you new to this, we play this game every Wednesday at 11AM CST. The Easy poster is worth 1 point, the Hard poster is worth 2. Person with the fewest points at the end of the game suffers unspeakable humiliation at the hands of a disgruntled carny. Wrong guesses don’t count against you, so guess as much and as often as you like.

The theme this week? These are two of my absolute favorite films, although I know that doesn’t help you much (and no, one of them is not The Rundown).

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It’s our tenth-tacular episode of the MovieZeal podcast. And how could we possibly pass up a chance to wax witty on Bond, James Bond? Well, we couldn’t, and we didn’t. Additionally, we decided to skip out on the wine this week and mix ourselves up a few Vespers, that stiff drink that Bond makes up on the spot in Casino Royale, naming it after the woman who he’ll soon be seeking revenge for. And finally, Heather ran Luke through the Gauntlet with one of her favorite guilty pleasure spy flicks, In Like Flint. Download, listen, enjoy.

Highlights from the show:

• Luke confesses he hasn’t seen a Bond film since the Sean Connery era.
• Heather quietly weeps in the corner, mourning the death of her beloved Bondian gadgets.
• Evan finishes his entire Vesper, which may have not been the best idea.

 

 Episode 10 - Spy vs. Spy [59:16m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Srdan Golubovic's "The Trap."

I’m still recuperating from my marathon Thanksgiving driving session: 40 hours on the road, 2 children in the backseat (who would scream in tandem; we used Europe’s “The Final Countdown” to drown them out), 2 flat tires, and 2 different rental cars. Helpful tip? Don’t rent from Budget unless you like your complimentary “24 Hour Roadside Assistance” to be outsourced to a third party that funnels its calls through an Indian call center. Second helpful tip? Ignore directions to the nearest Budget location given to you by passing Good Samaritans – more than likely, you’ll find yourself at a Hertz instead.

All that to say…. the post is a bit late. But TA-DA! Here it is for your reading enjoyment.

The Trap
What? How the heck is this my number 1 pick of the week? A valid question, sir, a valid question. I’m a big fan of Film Movement, and this is their latest release. I’m just going to copy their synopsis, since it sounds fantastic: “A modern film noir reflecting the true face of Serbian ’society in transition,’ It’s a story that could happen to you. An ordinary man is forced to choose between life and death of his own child. THE TRAP is a film about post-Milosevic’s Serbia, in which there is no more war, only a moral and existential desert. This is Serbia in transition, in which human life is worth little, and normal life remains almost unreachable.”

Recommended if that sounds as fascinating to you as it does to me.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian –
I’m a little skeptical of Luke’s star rating there (4.5? Really?), but interested all the same. I have fond memories of reading the Narnia books while growing up, and even if The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe left me a bit cold inside, it was still an acceptable adaptation of a beloved work. At least it wasn’t butchered like Eragorn and The Seeker were. This one promises to amp up the bloodshed (how far can you go before you cross the line into PG-13 territory? Quite far, apparently), and while that isn’t necessarily faithful to the source material, the fantasy geek within me is all for it.

Recommended if the wisecracking beavers from the first film didn’t piss you off too much.

| Purchase The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian on Blu-ray

Wanted –
This film has become something of an inside joke between Luke and I. We bring it up constantly around one another, usually using it as a barometer for the other’s poor taste. We saw it in the theater together, and while I enjoyed it for the giddy thrill ride that it was, Luke sniggered and eye-rolled his way through the entire film. I liked it – a good bit (although felt it had a serious identity crisis) – and Luke hated it. With a passion. So who are you more like? Luke or myself? Feel free to answer cryptically in the comments section.

Recommended if you liked Face-Off, Live Free or Die Hard, or Nightwatch.

| Purchase Wanted on Blu-ray

The X-Files: I Want to Believe –
I was a wide-eyed X-Files fan throughout its first 3 seasons or so. I must have been 14 (15?) and was just beginning to enter the age where my parents would let me make my own movie and television decisions. The X-Files was a little dark, but not too dark, and so I gobbled it up with all the ferocity my developing geeky mind could muster. How many great episodes are there in those first few seasons? Too many to count. Sadly, that ceased to be the case somewhere around the 5th or 6th season (perhaps it was earlier – it’s too painful to recall), and so my enthusiasm for this film is at zilch on the gotta-see-it-o-meter.

Recommended if you want to believe that Chris Carter can redeem himself for the massacre he perpetuated on his own show.

| Purchase X-Files: I Want to Believe on Blu-ray
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This review was originally published May 16th, 2008.

Those who are of the opinion that C.S. Lewis wrote The Chronicles of Narnia as an allegory designed to convert children to Christianity (I’m looking at you, Phillip Pullman) would be well advised to check out Prince Caspian, the latest entry in the eponymous film series (by the way, they should also look up the word “allegory”—but I digress). Make no mistake about it—Lewis, as a former atheist, wrote just as much out of doubt as he did out of faith, and his books were no mere morality plays. Caspian in particular is a dark meditation on the coming of age—the story of children realizing that fairytales simply aren’t true. At the center of it all is the question of what humanity can do when its God has left it alone on the earth. In other words, this ain’t kid stuff; nor is it particularly “religious.”

But it is truth.
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This review was originally published June 28th, 2008.

NOTE: Two of the screencaps within this review contain depictions of violence and strong language.

As a child, when Mark Millar was first introduced to comic books and superheroes, the question he immediately had was, “Where do they all live?” His older brother, never one to pass up a golden opportunity, told the little tot that all of the superheroes were dead because the super-villains had teamed up and wiped them out. While briefly traumatizing him, the prank would also become the basis for his hit 2003 comics mini-series, Wanted.

I picked up a copy of Wanted a few months ago in anticipation of the film. It was unequivocally one of the most sadistically violent, amoral, and thought provoking things I had ever read. The film, sadly, retains the first, waters down the second, and jettisons the third completely.
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This review was originally published July 25th, 2008.

One of the charges often leveled against film critics is that they are “out of touch” with American audiences. The proof that is generally cited comes from placing each year’s average critical top 10 list and its top 10 grossing films side by side and seeing how closely they match. For example, 2007’s critical darlings, No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood, respectively placed 36th and 66th at the box office. There are reasons for this discrepancy, primarily bad movie burnout amongst critics and the ever-present tension of art vs. entertainment, but I’ve always prided myself on being an unpretentious critic who loves his trash as much as his mise-en-scène (I did say I was unpretentious, right?). However, sitting in the theater watching Step Brothers, I wondered if I had finally crossed over to the other side. The audience was eating up every second of it like a lottery-winning coke fiend and I was just sitting there, wondering where that piece of food stuck behind my back molar was from, how long it had been there, and gosh it’s really about time I made a dentist appointment.
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This review was originally written August 13th, 2008.

Movies based on television shows generally fall into one of two categories: either they’re direct continuations of the show that wind up in theaters shortly after the show is cancelled, or even while it’s still on the air (The Man Called Flintstone), or they’re what might be called “re-imaginings,” released decades after the show ends, in a cynical attempt to cash in on the nostalgia of past fans (The Flintstones). Then there’s that nebulous third sort, like The Nude Bomb (sorry, I ran out of Flintstones examples) — the sort that come out within a decade of the show’s end, having given the show’s fans enough time to forget about it, but not enough time to wax nostalgic. Even for those who root for them, it’s hard not to admit the timing is strange, if not downright bad. This can easily color perceptions of the film, and, as you might expect, the new X-Files flick is no exception to this.

But if you’re worried about that, I’m your man, as I guarantee I was the most ignorant person in the audience at the screening I attended of The X-Files: I Want to Believe. I never got around to watching more than a few minutes of the TV series (what can I say, except that it was on TV during the 1990’s — which all took place within the first 15 years of my life, and were arguably a golden age of TV cartoons?). I never even attempted to watch the first movie. I hadn’t even read any reviews of the new film. In other words, my thoughts are the least biased you’re likely to hear.
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