Release Dates Sep 11 2008 @ 09:00 am
Theater Releases for September 12, 2008
I’m currently taking a couple of weeks off, officially (I’ve been blogging long enough, though, that I’ve forgotten how to do anything else with my spare time), but no one else wanted the thankless job of telling you people what’s in theaters, so I’m still at it.
Aw, who am I kidding? You know I love you guys. Hugs all around. Now read my opinions and agree with me. Thanks!
Burn After Reading
Yet another Coen Brothers movie about crime and coincidence that the masses won’t know what to make of. Is it a comedy? Is it a tragedy? Is it both? Who knows? I’ll tell you what I know it is, though: it’s a guaranteed ticket purchase for me this weekend. I doubt this will be another Oscar win for them, but it looks like a solid picture. If nothing else, we’re talking about an excellent cast here: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, Brad Pitt. And yes, I just read those names off of the poster to the left.
Recommended if you like the Coens. Seriously, do I have to say anything else?
Righteous Kill
I don’t know about you, but my eyes glaze over whenever I hear the words “crime film starring Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino”…especially this time of year, when those words accurately describe pretty much every movie that’s in theaters. Still, this one looks a bit intriguing: a pair of veteran cops find connections between a recent murder and one they thought they solved years ago — is there a (very lazy) serial killer on the loose? So nothing new, but it sounds like some genre fun.
Recommended if you liked Seven, The Bone Collector, or From Hell
The Family That Preys
Apparently, I’m supposed to hate Tyler Perry’s films…at least that’s what the Pompous Film Critic Alliance membership card in my wallet says. But that’s not going to happen, as I’ve never seen any of them. From what I hear, they appeal to middle-class Black Americans, a demographic consistently ignored by Hollywood (yay!), always have their heart in the right place (yay!), and are completely worthless as cinema (boo!). Well, he really shouldn’t be surprised at that last one, since he churns out five or six of these things a year…seriously Tyler, slow down a little bit. It’s okay to take your time.
Recommended if you like Perry. Like the Coens, this guy is pretty much his own genre.
The Women
How do you make a 1930’s comedy about a bunch of idle, gossipy upper-class housewives relevant to the 21st century? Easy: you jettison every character, theme, and plot point from the original film, and then simply reuse the title. Hey Diane English: Paul W. S. Anderson called, and he wants his idea back. Here’s a fun fact, though: this film currently has a 0% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. And if that doesn’t get you into theaters, I don’t know what will.
Recommended if you can’t find a DVD of the original, or if you wonder what Meg Ryan and Carrie Fisher have been up to the last couple of decades
on Sep 11 2008 @ 9:33 am 1. Fox said …
They way you guys worship & praise the Coens, I can’t believe they didn’t jet you out and give you a free screening at Clooney’s house or something. No respect, man!
on Sep 11 2008 @ 9:42 am 2. Luke Harrington said …
(It’s probably that 2.5-star rating we gave to The Ladykillers…)
on Sep 11 2008 @ 10:31 am 3. Evan Derrick said …
Wow. It really is at 0%. That’s some hardcore hate being flung it’s way.
Don’t be hatin’, Fox. Your just jealous that Brad Pitt is my workout buddy. And that John Malkovich cooks me eggs every morning. And that Joel & Ethan Coen have a restraining order against me.
Don’t be hatin’.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 10:33 am 4. Evan Derrick said …
Oh, and Luke, the scene betwixt Pacino and De Niro in Heat is one of the best moments in 90s cinema.
But I have a strong feeling that 88 Minutes-Avnet is not going to pull it off. I’ll kick myself in the knee if I’m wrong, but I think that is some major movie mojo being wasted in Righteous Kill.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 10:37 am 5. Haiku Girl said …
Burn baby Burn, I know what I am seeing after work on friday.
The Women looks so freak’n bad. Its another blame the other woman movie….how about blaming the partner thats cheating on you. Geesh, the “other Woman/Man” is a skank, but really are they doing anything wrong? They didn’t break any vows. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 11:48 am 6. Matt Gamble said …
Burn After Reading is outstanding. But i is weird enough that I’m sure a good section of people won’t like it at all.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 11:53 am 7. Evan Derrick said …
Has it ever been any other way for the Coens, Matt? They either inspire rabid fanboyism or toxic vitriol; there isn’t much of a middle ground.
But I agree, Burn is excellent. My review will be up at 12:05 tonight, just shy of the embargo.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 12:03 pm 8. G said …
You gave Ladykillers a 2.5? I’m shocked. That’s neither a 3 nor a 3.5!
on Sep 11 2008 @ 12:19 pm 9. Kristena said …
Most of the posters look cool this week.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 12:21 pm 10. Kristena said …
Non sequitirs ftw!
on Sep 11 2008 @ 1:04 pm 11. Fox said …
I can’t imagine what would happen to Evan’s head if the Arrrested Development movie was directed by the Coens.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 2:15 pm 12. Daniel said …
Ouch, The Women must be horrific. Looks like Meg Ryan’s triumphant return didn’t pay off at all.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 4:23 pm 13. Anil said …
I hated Intolerable Cruelty and loved The Big Lebowski so where does that place me?
Unfortunately, I expect ‘Burn After Reading’ to belong to the negative side of this ‘Comedies by Coens’ spectrum. I am not really hopeful. But you are right about one thing: it’s a guaranteed ticket purchase - even the knowledge of this potential disappointment won’t keep me from seeing it tomorrow, as soon as it’s released.
Righteous Kill will suffer from exactly the same thing Ocean’s Thirteen suffered: With an impressive cast in hand (a phenomenal duo in this case) the film will be marked by lazy writing, dull directing and an aggressive marketing campaign. It undoubtedly tries to emulate both Heat and The Departed but I’ll be surprised if it’s half as good as any of them.
I guess I turned into a pessimist these days
on Sep 11 2008 @ 5:23 pm 14. Evan Derrick said …
I thoroughly enjoyed Burn Anil, and would not consider it “minor Coen” at all. I’d put it in the above average bin at the very least.
But I think you’re dead-on about Righteous Kill. Nothing about it looks remotely original; just two big fat paychecks for De Niro and Pacino. Shame, really. With the right film they could be amazing together.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 7:24 pm 15. Rick Olson said …
I heard Women took 10 years to get made. Not a good omen.
“Righteous Kill”: by the folks who brought you “88 Minutes.” Also not a good omen.
Tyler Perry is never a good omen.
“Burn After Reading” I’m there, baby, I’m there. Evan, I can has press-credentials?
on Sep 11 2008 @ 7:31 pm 16. Evan Derrick said …
Sure, Rick. You just have to sell your soul. You don’t have a problem with that, right?
on Sep 11 2008 @ 8:05 pm 17. Luke Harrington said …
But it does explain why Diane English hasn’t done anything since Murphy Brown.
(Dan Quayle was unavailable for comment.)
on Sep 11 2008 @ 9:46 pm 18. Anil said …
Well, I’ll be able to see it tomorrow. I hope you are right Evan, which means a pleasant surprise is waiting for me.
on Sep 11 2008 @ 10:08 pm 19. Kristena said …
So now The Women has 7% on RT. Two out of three of the positive-ish reviewers are female. So perhaps there’s some appeal to some, uh, women…?
on Sep 11 2008 @ 11:04 pm 20. Rick Olson said …
Well, I met this guy at the cross-roads, see, and he taught me how to play this here blues guitar, I guess it was round about midnight, you know?
Anyway, I says “How much I owe you, man?” And he laughs this hollow, booming laugh and says “Son, it’ll cost you everything you own … ”
So, no prob on the soul thing.