Release Dates Aug 28 2008 @ 10:00 am
Theater Releases for August 29th, 2008
I couldn’t help but notice that Fletch over at Blog Cabins complained that last weekend was the worst weekend ever. Really, Fletch? Did you look at the releases for this weekend?
Since I can’t recommend any films to you this time around, here’s something I can recommend: Wikipedia’s article on B-movies. Seriously, this is some of the most thorough, well-written, and entertaining stuff I’ve read in a long time. It also explains why no one really knows what “B-movie” actually means anymore. Pop some popcorn and read that, instead of going to the multiplex.
And now, since I need to fill up some more space…
Babylon A.D.
Wait, what? A French action movie starring Vin Diesel as a mercenary assigned to escort a woman who may be pregnant with “the next messiah”? Yeah, um…no.
Recommended if you liked The Chronicles of Riddick, The Children of Men or The Terminator (pretty much anything with “The” in the title, really)
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Traitor
Wait, what? A spy thriller created and produced by…Steve Martin? Okay sure, why not? I can try to care about that.
Recommended if you liked Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid or that godawful remake of The Pink Panther (the only two other movies I can think of with both Steve Martin and espionage)
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College
Premise That Might Have Been Clever Thirty Years Ago, meet Title That Might Have Been Clever Ten Years Ago. Get this: some guys are in college, and they get drunk and chase coeds! It’s totally gonna be hilarious!!!!!!111!!
Recommended if every title in your DVD collection begins with “National Lampoon Presents”
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Disaster Movie
And finally, this thing. There was a time when this endless barrage of “parodies” (here put in quotes because the word “parody” implies humor and commentary) were an outrage of awfulness, inspiring hatred from the pen of every two-bit blogger out there. Now they’re just so much white noise playing in the background while you go see the The Dark Titanic (or whatever it’s called) for the nineteenth time, their existence essentially drowned out by their own irrelevance (the 21st-century equivalent of a Police Academy sequel, if you will). If the one person who’s actually going to go see this movie is reading: Enjoy!
Recommended if you’re thirteen, have never heard of Mel Brooks, think that you’re clever because you know what a movie is, and can get your parents to drop you off at the multiplex without embarassing you too much in front of your friends. (But take off some of that perfume before you go out, young lady!)
on Aug 28 2008 @ 10:10 am 1. Rick Olson said …
I can think of another with Martin and (industrial) espionage … Mamet’s great “Spanish Prisoner.”
Really, though, I haven’t thought this is any kind of reasonable movie summer at all. I am a-hankerin’ for the Fall.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 10:16 am 2. Fox said …
“Recommended if every title in your DVD collection begins with “National Lampoon Presents” “
Nice one!
on Aug 28 2008 @ 10:17 am 3. Rachel said …
Babylon A.D. bad? You must be joking. It has the standard epic theme song in its trailer (Mansell’s “Requiem for a Dream”) which automatically makes it a must see. Or not.
I really wish the marketing geniuses (term used loosely) would stop marring Mr. Mansell’s brilliant work(s) by associating them with drivel such as this. Pick another song to destroy, please.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 10:44 am 4. Daniel said …
I’d be interested to hear anyone defend Traitor as anything other than another failed attempt at spreading the peaceful message of Islam. Besides that, it’s really predictable and features wooden acting.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 10:48 am 5. Alexander Coleman said …
Your “Recommended” bit for Disaster Movie is the funniest one yet, and completely, unfailingly, true to the letter. Great job.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 10:50 am 6. G said …
I don’t know what “The” Children of Men is, but Children of Men is one of the best movies of this century, and does not deserve to be associated with Babylon A.D. Hell, Pitch Black doesn’t deserve to be associated with Babylon A.D. That one looks…bad.
I think traitor looks pretty ok!
on Aug 28 2008 @ 11:08 am 7. Luke Harrington said …
Oops G, you caught me confusing titles. The Children of Men was the title of the novel, but I just looked it up and the movie did, in fact, drop the article from its official title. It’s too bad, since I had a nice little absurdist joke going there.
In any case, I only mentioned it because of the similarities in lpot points…not any presumable equation of quality.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 11:41 am 8. G said …
Well, did the one with the carrot have a “the” in it? That movie looked bad. Clive Owen, like everyone else, makes bad career choices.
Besides Russell Crowe, of course. Russell Crowe has made exactly one mistake since he hit the big time with The Insider: A Good Year. but no one else has been so consistent:
Insider
Gladiator
Proof of Life
A Beautiful Mind
Master and Commander
Cinderella Man
A Good Year
3:10 to Yuma
American Gangster
Outside of A Good Year, the worst movie on that list is Proof of Life, which isn’t a bad movie. Of course, making 10 movies in 9 years can help with that.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 2:02 pm 9. Craig Kennedy said …
Looks like a great weekend to pursue other interests.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 2:15 pm 10. Luke Harrington said …
Wait, there are other things you can do with your weekend? I think I remember hearing stories of such things, as a child…
on Aug 28 2008 @ 2:52 pm 11. Evan Derrick said …
Have any of you read Mathieu Kassovitz’s response to Babylon (he’s the director)? He is, apparently, a bit unhappy.
http://blogs.amctv.com/scifi-scanner/2008/08/babylon-ad-mathieu-kassovitz.php
on Aug 28 2008 @ 3:45 pm 12. Joseph said …
The Coens are going to kick it up for me this Fall.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 4:48 pm 13. Matthew Lucas said …
I’ll probably end up having to see BABYLON A.D. to review this week…but at least it got me to pick up Kassovitz’s debut, LA HAINE, from the library so I can play catch up.
I’m at least looking forward to that one.
on Aug 28 2008 @ 5:10 pm 14. Alexander Coleman said …
Kassovitz’s statement about his own film is very painful and interesting. Sounds like something of a nightmare for a filmmaker. Maybe he should make a film about that experience!
on Aug 28 2008 @ 10:12 pm 15. Fletch said …
Luke, excellent point. This weekend just might be worse. Then again, I seem to be saying that all the time. It’s like Office Space: every day is the worst day of my life, only every weekend seems to be getting worse.