“You live in a dream. Do you know the world is a foul sty? Do you know if you ripped the fronts off houses you’d find swine? The world’s a hell. What does it matter what happens in it?”

—Charlie Oakley, Shadow of a Doubt

Shadow of a Doubt has occasionally been described as one of Alfred Hitchcock’s most nihilistic films, and this is a point I won’t argue with. In a sense, its lead antagonist, Charlie Oakley, embodies the very essence of film noir: hatred of self, a total lack of faith in societal establishments, hopelessly repressed sexuality. At the same time, however, the most interesting aspect of the film is speculating how different it would have been, were it made at a different time or in another place. One can’t help but shake the feeling that Hitchcock would have different things to show you—and different things to say—were his hands not tied by the Hays Production Code.
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Here come the latest cinematic offerings on DVD. Speaking of DVD, have you ever heard of the “6 Degrees of Jesus” game on Wikipedia (Luke introduced it to me)? It’s where you attempt to get to the article on Jesus from another article in six or less clicks. Starting with the entry for DVD, I went to Star Trek: The Original Series –> Star Trek V: The Final Frontier –> God –> Bible –> Jesus. 5 clicks, however, is not that impressive. Major props in the comments section to anyone who can do it in 4 or less. The gauntlet has been thrown down!

Also, if you’re new to the MovieZeal, I rank these in order of interest, with ‘interest’ being defined as whatever my fickle little brain is into at the moment.

Batman – Gotham Knight
Ok, so I’m cheating a bit with this one. Not only is it not a theatrical release, it’s direct-to-video and animated to boot. However, seeing as I’m in full-on OCD Dark Knight mode and being forced to wait 2 weeks until it actually hits theaters (oh please oh please let there be a press screening I can go to), and seeing as this 6-part anime inspired tale of Bruce Wayne’s rise to the cowl was written by David Goyer (Batman Begins) and Josh Olson (A History of Violence) among others, I think I can be forgiven my lapse in propriety. This looks wicked cool and will provide a nice diversion until July 18th.

Recommended if you, like me, have been carving little Batman symbols in your arm to pass the time.

The Tracy Fragments
A fractured tale of a young girl finding herself, this Canadian film stars Ellen Page, who you might have seen in a little independent film last year called Juno. It employs a how-many-frames-can-we-get-on-the-screen-at-once aesthetic, revealing multiple angles of the same scene at the same time. It could be a revelation or it could be gimmick-overload. Regardless, I’m there for anything and everything that contains Ellen Page (except X-Men 3…shame on you, Ellen, shame on you).

Recommended if Juno meets 24 sounds interesting to you, and while that may be an accurate description (at least superficially), I’m also sure it’s completely misleading.

Chop Shop –
I profess a detached, clinical admiration for this film. A cinéma vérité exploration of two orphaned siblings struggling to make ends meet amidst the grungy body shops of back alley Queens, the film is beautiful in its own, minimalist way. Although I was moved at times, and although director Ramin Bahrani is unquestionably talented, I have little to no desire ever to visit it again. An impressive work, but one that failed to leave a distinct impression.

Recommended if you liked Man Push Cart or 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days

The Ruins –
Even though Luke nailed this one to the wall with all the extreme prejudice of Dogg the Bounty Hunter on crack, I would still rather watch it than Stop-Loss. I’m not sure if that says more about me or…yeah, I’ll just be honest, it says more about me. So, there’s this ancient primordial evil that these kids find in a South American jungle and…get this, it hunts them down! Pretty original, no? Apparently there are some pretty nasty bits and also some unintentionally humorous ones. Hopefully for the movie’s sake the two don’t overlap too often.

Recommended if you liked Anaconda, Primeval, or Touristas.

Hit the jump for the rest of this weeks selection.
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This review was originally published April 8th, 2008.

If the cynics in Hollywood can market Shutter using its executive producers (“From the executive producers of The Ring and The Grudge!” as the poster so eagerly tells us), then it only seems fair that I should be allowed to tell you that The Ruins was executive produced by Ben Stiller. Yes, that Ben Stiller. I’m kind of spoiling the ending here, since you don’t find this out until the final credits roll, but don’t worry—this isn’t quite the funniest part of the film. Thanks to pedestrian script writing, inept directing and some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen, it’s actually quite a challenge to pick the funniest part of The Ruins. But I should at least try.
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This review was originally posted April 26th, 2008.

Chop Shop is such a beautiful, understated film that it almost feels like I’m insulting it by even attempting to review it. The film is more than capable of standing on its own—it says exactly what needs to be said, and nothing more. To add anything to it would destroy its delicate beauty—and far too often, this is exactly what film reviews do. To attempt “judge” a film—especially one as self-interpreting as this one—is a presumptuous task indeed.
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Redbox Roulette is a continuing series of columns where we delve into the wonders of the magical box, the only rule being that we can never have heard of the selected movie. I know, I know, that’s crazy talk. But at MovieZeal, we take the risks so you don’t have to. No need to thank us. We do it for the children.

After previous comments by Redbox apologists, I chose to sample the box’s online capabilities. For some reason I’ve been unable to get The Deaths of Ian Stone out of my head (which I was denied my first time around), so I set the internets to work on finding me a copy. Redbox.com is surprisingly robust, and it quickly found every box in the area that had a copy of the film. The closest one was at a Sam’s Club across town, so I purchased the rental online and hopped in my sweet pimp-mobile (i.e., a dull grey Hyundai Elantra with too much bird poop on the windshield).

Seeing as my car ride probably cost twice as much as the actual DVD rental, I might have been a bit more patient, but “patience” and “practical” are not two words I would use to describe my filmwatching habits. When I want to see a film, dadgummit I’m going to see that film no matter how much ludicrously priced fuel it takes. My enthusiasm, however, is usually based on critical reception or premise or a director’s previous work, but in this case it was based on nothing more than a marginally interesting DVD cover. Ah common sense, I know thee not.
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The newest film in the legendary James Bond franchise arrives on November 7 and it may have the most inaccessible title of any American movie … ever. Its pretty easy to understand with the help of a dictionary, but Quantum of Solace is said to have extra meaning with the actual movie in view (I heard something about it being the name of a terrorist organization, but I could be wrong). In any case, the title fits, seeing as 2006’s much-needed reboot to the Bond series (Casino Royale) left a more emotive Bond in tragedy after the loss of former flame Vesper Lynd. The new film, helmed by Marc Forster (Stranger Than Fiction, Monster’s Ball), will pick up exactly where Casino Royale left off — it’s the first real James Bond sequel.

Check out the trailer in HD over at Moviefone.

Or just watch in in glorious YouTube fuzzy vision. Your call.

So…these aren’t, uh, late or anything. Nope, not at all. Hold on, I see something shiny in the distance…

Shotgun Stories
This one elbows its way into the top spot through critical tidal wave alone. A small indie that received limited distribution, it deals with male angst set against the backdrop of the rural south, and if there is anything I know more about than the rural south, it’s male angst. Throw in a shotgun and a dead daddy it gets even more angsty…perhaps even too much angst, some might say.

Recommended if you liked In the Bedroom or Undertow

City of Men
Fernando Meirelles’ 2002 City of God was a vision. I’m not entirely sure what kind of vision it was, and I’m still not sure I even liked it, but it was an incredible directorial debut, the kind one might have to wander out to an abandoned crossroads and sell their soul to the Devil for. Meirelles didn’t direct this loose sequel (there is a TV series that apparently bridges the two films), but it has received generally positive reviews, and Rick Olson had some good things to say about it, so color me…whatever one might color oneself if one is interested in a movie (I could take a page out of Tobias Funke’s book and go the ‘blue’ route, but that’s a topic for another discussion entirely).

Recommended if you liked City of God or Tsotsi

Vantage Point –
Basically Rashomon-lite for the 24 junkie, I liked this more than I probably should have. President gets shot, they show it from 87 different angles, gotta solve the mystery, yada yada yada. Yes it gets tedious, yes the Big Twist is screaming itself in your ear the moment the film begins, and yes it does nothing particularly new/clever/interesting. But I still liked it. It had a cool car chase and they blew stuff up. What can I say? Sometimes I’m as easy as 10-piece puzzle for ages 3 and up.

Recommended if you liked Face-Off, The Kingdom, or watching Forest Whitaker sweat a lot

My Blueberry Nights –
I desperately wanted to like this one, if only for the glowing adoration showered down upon it by my illustrious colleagues. Sadly, it was not to be, and Miss Norah Jones and co. rubbed me every which wrong way imaginable. However, I truly believe there is some glittering siren lurking somewhere in this picture, just beneath the surface, and it may charm the blueberry pie right out of your digestive track (ewww). So don’t by afraid to give it a whirl.

Recommended if you liked…well golly, I can’t think of anything to compare this to. It’s kind of in a league of its own.

Hit the jump for the dishonorable mentions of the week.
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This review was originally published May 30th, 2008.

My Blueberry Nights approaches the viewer like an awkward lover, desperate to please but unsure of what to do. At times it is sensual and alluring, a delicious cinematic confection for the senses, but suddenly it becomes clumsy and inexperienced, placing its hands in all the wrong places and whispering words that induce giggling rather than titillation. You will either be enraptured with it in spite of its faults or you will be turned off completely by its graceless advances. I could only entertain the films fleeting charms for so long, however, before becoming irrevocably irritated with it.
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This review was originally published February 22, 2008.

The suspension of disbelief in Vantage Point may be difficult to maintain at times, but it nonetheless provides decent action thrills guaranteed to satisfy your adrenaline, if not your grey matter. As guilty pleasures go, this is one of the better ones.
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Since it’s a holiday weekend, the movies come out on Wednesday. Why? Because Hollywood wants (no — needs!) your money. The only question is…do they deserve it? Stay tuned to find out…

Hancock
Will Smith plays an inept, alcoholic superhero. Should be funny; kind of is. I caught an early showing of this one, and I have to say: it’s one of the weirdest experiences I’ve ever had with a major Hollywood release. The first half is a quirky comedy that’s a lot of fun; then it suddenly decides it wants to be an epic tragedy halfway through, and introduces all sorts of mythology that I just wasn’t ready to buy into. It’s like two completely different movies glued together. Imagine watching Highlander and Highlander II back-to-back (skipping all the credits and titles, of course) — that’s the best comparison I can think of. Is it worth seeing? Well…it’s not exactly the chameleon’s lobotomy, but the first half is almost worth the price of admission. Evan should have a full review up sometime today or tomorrow.

Recommended if you liked Mystery Men, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, or Sky High…but wished they were all trilogies, with a third chapter roughly as disappointing as The Matrix Revolutions

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl
After three made-for-TV movies, the popular American Girl franchise (which also includes books, magazines, and dolls — all of which have no doubt sucked away some of your hard-earned cash if you have daughters) makes the jump to the big screen. Um, yay? This is the story of Kit Kittredge, an American girl (get it?) who grew up during the Great Depression. It’s probably awful, but then again, where else can your nine-year-old girl go to learn self-esteem, tolerance, and American history? If I were a nine-year-old girl, I’d be all over this thing. Heck, we need an American Boy franchise. Why? Because your son ain’t learning about the Great Depression from that copy of Grand Theft Auto IV you just bought him. Think about that one.

Recommended if your daughter is sick of having her intelligence insulted by the Disney Princess line.

This is part the second of a two-part article examining the ways in which one might become a better film critic. You can find the first part of the article here.

I was surprised by and appreciative of the responses that I received on the first part of this article. I also must admit that I found it quite surreal to see my name jutting out from blog posts in Spanish and Vietnamese. Hopefully the second part of this article is as much of a conversation starter as the first was. Again, your feedback is warmly welcomed.
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