Things are finally looking up on the DVD front this week. You have two stellar options to choose from. Also in milestones, we have a review for every major release this week, which I think means that we have officially arrived as a film blog, as in pull-up-in-a-stretch-limo-to-the-glittery-red-carpet-with-paparazzi-chasing-you-all-Lindsey-Lohan-like arrived. Or something like that. Whatever. At least I think it’s cool.

In Bruges -
It was an extremely close call between my first and second picks this week, but I think In Bruges wins out by a smidgen of a hair. Martin McDonagh’s follow up to his blisteringly black short film Six Shooter is a bizarre hodgepodge of genres and tones and styles that defies clean categorization. It has midget jokes and fat people and hitmen and suicide attempts and Colin Farrel’s best performance to date and over-the-top violence and twisted comedic set pieces and…see what I mean? It’s not for everyone, but it is unique filmmaking.

Recommended if Quentin Tarantino doing Goodfellas with Grumpy Old Men set in National Lampoon’s European Vacation appeals to you.

Persepolis -
DVD pick number 2 for the week is a little animated film in French about an Iranian girl coming of age. After typing that sentence, I just realized how boring I made it sound, but trust me when I say it is one of the most original animated to films to come out in quite some time. With a deliciously charming black and white style, it is equal parts humorous and sad, and it is certainly worth your time.

Recommended if you liked The Triplets of Belleville, Renaissance, or Spirited Away

Charlie Bartlett -
“So, when I was in high school, I was like totally unpopular, ok? And then, like, I got all these perscription meds from my psyched out mom and was like, ‘Hey, I can sell these to kids at my school!’, and then I was like, awesome, and then I did it, and then I, like, became real popular and stuff and, it was like…sweeeeeeet. America rocks.”

Apart from its utterly amoral premise, this is supposed to be quite the witty little comedy, which is saying something since most comedies rely solely on genitalia for their laughs, or lack thereof.

Recommended if you liked Juno, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, or Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Hit the jump for the stragglers.

The Spiderwick Chronicles -
Despite Luke’s less-than-glowing review, I’m slightly interested in this as I keep hearing unlikely praise from certain dark unnameable corners of the internet. Yes, it is another shameless attempt at recreating the success of Harry Potter, and yes, it does officially announce the burn-out of Freddy Highmore, but what can I say? I like goblins. There aren’t enough of them these days and, quite frankly, the world is a sadder place for it.

Recommended if you liked Gremlins, read the books, or are going through post-Finding Neverland/August Rush Freddy Highmore withdrawals

Definitely, Maybe -
Call me a cinematic pansy, but I thought the premise to this romantic comedy was somewhat compelling. A single father tells his daughter about the women he dated before she was born and she has to guess which one is her mother. On second thought, that’s actually kind of twisted in a how-bad-can-you-screw-your-kid-up sort of way. Especially if the punchline was that her mom was a doped up circus freak who took the one-way kool-aid trip to the special comet in the sky. On second second thought, that’s a black comedy I might like to see.

Recommended if you liked Sleepless in Seattle or watch Doogie Howser’s new sitcom, How I Met Your Mother

10,000 B.C. -
From Luke’s review, because I’m way too lazy to write anything about this, and what he wrote is better than what I could come up with: “With 10,000 B.C., Emmerich is ripping off everything from Peter Jackson’s King Kong to Chris Wedge’s Ice Age to Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto to Don Bluth’s The Land Before Time to Cecil B. DeMille’s The Ten Commandments to Akira Kurosawa’s The Hidden Fortress to Don Chaffey’s One Million Years B.C. to Emmerich’s very own Stargate. Come to think of it, it might actually be easier to list the movies that this one hasn’t ripped off.”

Recommended if you think Roland Emmerich is the cat’s pajamas, the bee’s knees, the gopher’s kazoo, the magician’s hernia, the midget’s cannonball, or the chameleon’s lobotomy. And if any of those become break-out internet memes, I had better get credit.