Hey kids! This week we keep chugging along with those big, dumb summer movies. This week’s aren’t as big as some , but they probably win the prize for the dumbest. Actually, come to think of it, I’m pretty sure that these are both pretty much the same movie…

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
This one is just like every other Adam Sandler movie you’ve seen, except he plays an Israeli-counter-terrorist-turned-hairdresser, instead of a hockey-player-turned-golf-player, a waterboy-turned-football-player, or a rich-boy-turned-elementary-school-student. Basically, he has to save the world, win the girl, and score middle-aged chicks. I caught an early showing of this one, and while I admit that it doesn’t suck as much as I feared, it still sucks too much for me to actually recommend it. Expect my full review sometime tomorrow.

Recommended if you liked Semi-Pro, Anger Management, or Dodge Ball

Kung Fu Panda
This one is just like every other CG Dreamworks Animation film you’ve seen, except it stars a panda-turned-Kung-Fu-artist instead of an loser-ant-turned-stud, a ugly-ogre-turned-prince, or a bee-turned-activist. Basically, he has to save the world, win the girl, and sell a lot of licensed merchandise. I can’t vouch for the quality of this one, but it stars the voice of Jack Black, so it can’t be all bad. Maybe.

Recommended if you’re still not sick of that “Silence is Golden” promo they’ve been playing at AMC theaters since, like, a year ago