This week we get a whopping two releases. But, on the bright side, one will undoubtedly be showing on at least two screens at your favorite mulitplex. So you can go see it twice, if you want. Also, let it be known that The Visitor (which I made a plug for in my previous post) adds another hundred screens this week…so if you’re not into mech suits and explosions, you should check that one out. And now, the summer begins…

Iron Man
Personally, I’m rooting for this little independent drama. The touching story of a young man who dreams of competing in the Ironman Triathlon…wait, what? That’s not what this movie is about? Oh. Okay. So it’s about what, now? Robert Downey Jr. in a robot outfit blowing stuff up? Oh. Huh. Go figure, I guess. (Really though, all you need to know about this one is available here.)

Recommended if you want to know any of the following: (1) Has he lost his mind? (2) Can he see, or is he blind? (3) Can he walk at all? (4) Or if he moves, will he fall? (Wow, what awful lyrics. Hopefully, Ozzy didn’t write the script for this one.)

Made of Honor
Actually, I’m writing a short play about this one. Tell me what you think:
White Male in Suit #1: Iron Man is coming out May 2nd. Somebody come up with something to compete with it.
White Male in Suit # 2: Well, sir, how about something with talking CG animals? Those always seem to make loads of money!
White Male in Suit # 3: Or something from Tyler Perry! He’s only making six films this year! He can probably fit one more into his schedule!
#1: No, you morons! You’re just repeating my ideas back to me! What am I paying you bozos for, anyway?
#3: I thought it was because I was your nephew, sir.
#1: Shut up! Come on guys, think! We know all the males will be busy watching Iron Man…
#2: Because all males are stupid monkeys who come running whenever you promise them explosions…
#1: Right! So we make something for the women. Now what do women like?
#3: I think they like good movies with nuanced characters and compelling storylines, sir.
#1: Wrong answer! Clean out your desk. What do you think, #2?
#2: Well sir, I guess women like inane, derivative romantic comedies that star generic male leads who essentially consist solely of a tuxedo and some stubble.
#1: I taught you well, Junior! Now throw together a rip-off of My Best Friend’s Wedding. And get that guy who directed Leonard, Part 6 to do it. I kinda liked that one.
#2: Yes sir.
#1: Oh, and one more thing: Put a lame pun in the title. Something like Maid in Manhattan, but not quite as godawful.
#2: How about Made of Honor, sir?
#1: Gah-hah-hah! Hah-hah-hah-hah! “Made of Honor.” Hah! Priceless. The women of America will be in awe of how clever we are.
Curtain.

Recommended if you don’t have a chance to see The Visitor, but still need an excuse to munch popcorn