This isn’t going to be a review so much as it’s going to be a sermon.

I have never experienced a film like Speed Racer before in my life. It is an exuberant, giddy, unabashed celebration of the wide-eyed wonder that shines in the eyes of little boys who believe with every ounce of their being that a 2 inch Hot Wheels car can accelerate at 500mph through a loop-de-loop, flip majestically into the air over the competition, and soar into the stratosphere with a jet-propelled rocket (which is obviously strapped to the back). Physics? Gravity? What are those things? I left the theater with a shockingly goofy grin plastered all over my face, fully believing that nothing was impossible and that no one—no one!—could tell me what I could or couldn’t do. That is the raw power of this film: to transport you to a place where the world is an epic adventure waiting to be seized, where dreams and possibilities are as big as you can imagine them, and where the crushing mundanity of adulthood is left eating the dust of the sleek, physics-defying Mach 5 driven by a boy named Speed. This is the stuff little boys’ dreams are made of, and heaven help me, I loved every thrilling second of it.
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One imagines that What Happens in Vegas is the sort of film Michael Medved would love—after all, it reinforces traditional values without challenging your previous assumptions, asking you to think, or even questioning your vices. This is the sort of film that—despite the titular metropolis—is designed to “play in Peoria,” as the saying goes. It’s the quintessential bread-and-circuses film, reaffirming the paper-thin presumptions of the middle American masses while entertaining them for an hour and a half. The only surprise? It’s a thoroughly watchable film.
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Okay…the second week of summer…which is roughly like the second day of Christmas. Y’know - it’s there, but nothing really happens and nobody really cares. (Except, of course, for the poor sap who gets stuck with a pair of turtledoves. But whatever.) Here are your options this week…

Speed Racer
First they ran the Matrix franchise into the ground with two unnecessary sequels. Then they made a mockery of British graphic novels everywhere. Now, determined to prove once and for all that they have no new ideas whatsoever, the Wachowski brothers have done what everyone else in Hollywood is rushing to do: optioned an old television series. This film has been praised primarily for its distinctive visual style, which could probably best be described as an epileptic rainbow of ADHD. This isn’t my cup of tea, but if it sounds fun to you, have at it.

Recommended if you like videogames but hate pushing all those buttons

What Happens in Vegas
This really is the sort of film I should hate the very idea of. First off, it’s got Ashton Kutcher in it, and I only know of three things with less talent than Ashton Kutcher (hint: they’re all inanimate). Second, it’s named after what is probably the most annoying tag line ever used in a tourist ad, for one of the most annoying tourist destinations. But - um - I really want to see this movie. Why? Well, first off, the trailer made it look a lot funnier than it deserves to be. And second, the premise is worth the price of admission alone. It goes something like this: a couple gets married - as couples in Vegas are wont to do - after a night of drinking and partying; then they realize they hate each other the next day, but after winning millions, they find themselves stuck together, lest they lose their claim to the cash. There’s definitely some potential here, even if everyone involved probably screwed it up. I pretty much expect to be disappointed, but I’m going to this one.

Recommended if you liked Just Married, The Break-Up, or Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Redbelt
Prolific and talented writer-director David Mamet (Glengarry Glen Ross, Wag the Dog) takes on martial arts prize fighting. Reportedly, this one runs the gamut of everything from scam movie to Kurosawa-ish samurai-type drama. And interestingly enough, it costars, of all people, Tim Allen. If anyone can pull this off, it’s probably Mamet. Color me intrigued.

Recommended if you liked Raging Bull, Fight Club, or Reservoir Dogs

Then She Found Me
With this one and David Schwimmer’s Run, Fat Boy, Run, this must be the year of washed-up sitcom stars directing independent films. Helen Hunt, best known for her role on the TV show Mad About You (along with an Oscar-winning performance in As Good as It Gets), directed and starred in this melodrama based on the novel by Elinor Lipman. Hunt plays a woman with no less than two mothers and three significant others. Throw in a pregnancy, and you’ve got the makings of the ultimate chick flick here. This one also features Matthew Broderick, Colin Firth, and - ugh - Bette Midler. Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

Recommended if you liked Fried Green Tomatoes, Smart People, or Bridget Jones’s Diary

If parody seems like a tired genre now (look for any film with a two-word title that ends in the word Movie for proof of this), there’s a good reason for it. Beginning in 1974 with Blazing Saddles, Mel Brooks propelled the broad genre into the mainstream, and it remained in the limelight for a decade or two, possibly climaxing (artistically) with Young Frankenstein and (commercially) with Space Balls. As one might imagine, Brooks inspired any number of followers, which all created more parody films—with very mixed results—throughout the 70s and 80s. One of the less-remembered of these is Johnny Dangerously, a parody of Warner Bros.’ 1930s-era gangster films (Scarface, Little Caesar, etc.) starring Michael Keaton and directed by Amy Heckerling (fresh from making the seminal Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Dangerously isn’t the best film from the genre (or the era), but it makes for an entertaining watch, and has some genuinely funny moments.
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Our Month of Coens was, I think, a modest success. Thanks to all of the contributors who took the time and effort to turn in such well written articles and features on the brothers auteur. Your participation is what made it such darn fun. You can find a handy-dandy list of all the articles and reviews below in case you may have missed anything.

In lieu of planning another themed month here at MZ (which is coming as soon as we recover from this one), we have a number of new columns and features in the pipeline, so keep your eyes peeled (what does that mean, excatly? Has anyone ever stopped to think what a horrible prospect it would be to actually peel one’s eyes?).

MZ is in its infancy, and we are (hopefully) ever evolving into a better, more streamlined destination for all things film.

Hit the jump for the list of articles and reviews.
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A bunch of releases this week you’ve never heard of, but that is why I tirelessly scavenge the dark corners of IMDB, to inform and enlighten. Why, without me, you might have inadvertently rented The Hottie and the Nottie, permanently damaging your retinas in the process. There are some things that can’t be unseen and, unsurprisingly, almost all of them involve Paris Hilton.

Bella
For all the conservatives who bemoan Hollywood’s lack of family values, there have been a surprising number of pro-life leaning films in the past few years. While Waitress, Knocked Up, and Juno were not explicitly anti-abortion, they all featured characters who chose to keep their babies. Bella, though not a Hollywood vehicle, continues that trend with a simple, touching story that takes place over the course of a single day. A cook and a waitress connect when one of them discovers something they’re unprepared for, although I probably shouldn’t waste my time attempting to be spoiler free (hint hint, SHE’S PREGNANT!). Well received critically, it is more of an art house creature than the aforementioned crowd pleasers, but still worth a look.

Recommended if you liked Waitress, of if you wished Juno had been less funny (there may be one of you out there)

P.S. I Love You
Based on a best selling novel (aren’t they all?), this romantic comedy attempts to buck the trend by having one of its characters dead the entire time, and not in the “oh-death-is-so-romantic” Ghost vein. Hilary Swank is the woman who’s lost her husband to a terrible illness, but who discovers life again when she starts receiving notes and videos from him posthumously. King Leonidas, I mean Gerard Butler, plays the dead husband, who closes every letter with “P.S. I Love You.” If the woman in your life forces you to watch this, entertain yourself by shouting the title of the film with the same inflection as “THIS…..IS……SPARTA!” every time someone says it on screen. Go on, try it now. See how much fun that is?

Recommended if you liked The Lakehouse or Just Like Heaven

I’m Not There
The musical biopic is one of my least favorite genres, and watching Ray and Walk the Line felt a lot like mowing the lawn: I didn’t really want to do it, but I knew I should. So here comes one on Bob Dylan, with the clever twist being that 7 different actors play the beatnik who could, and one of them is Cate Blanchett! A woman! The cinematic gods are clearly shocked by the riskiness of it all. I apologize if my sarcasm drips, but I cannot muster a single ounce of enthusiasm for this film, no matter how many critical accolades it received. For the consummate Dylanite, however, consider it required viewing.

Recommended if you’re either a Dylan fan or liked Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, and if you don’t know what that movie is, then you won’t like this one

The Hottie and the Nottie
This one has the distinction of currently holding the #4 spot on IMDB’s 100 worst films list. It proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Paris Hilton is nothing if not willing to stoop ever lower. Her next film will undoubtedly feature her eating pieces of moldy bark in exchange for candy. Which may or may not be an improvement. The one silver lining is that the film grossed a total of $27,696 dollars at the box office. Seeing as it opened in 111 theaters, those of you with mad math skillz will have already figured out that that equals a per theater average of $249, which may be the all time lowest record. It spent a grand total of 3 days at the multiplex, proving that American audiences are not nearly as stupid as I thought they were.

Recommended if you’ve already lit your head on fire and need something more painful to top it with

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I take a lot of things for granted, although perhaps less than some. I spent my teenage years in a borderline third world country where I shared a small room with both my siblings. It’s the small things you tend to miss. At the store there were two choices of soda: coke or sprite; our electric water heater limited hot showers to 2 minutes; and English reading material was at a premium—I devoured my books in mere days. Living in the states within that context, I appreciate the things I’ve had to live without: the sheer number of choices the grocery store has to offer, the 15 minutes I spend on average in the shower now, and the library and local bookstores, which I can lose myself in for hours. However, watching The Singing Revolution last night, I realized I had taken one Big Thing for granted, in large part because I’ve never had to live without it: my freedom.
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I’ll be straight with you—why fight the truth? I like romantic comedies. Yeah, I know. Yes, I am aware that I’m male. Thanks for pointing that out, though. But there’s just nothing like a good romantic comedy. They’re subversive—they fly under people’s radar. They look like fluff, so people allow them to do their thing, and then they can really make good points and even make people think, if they want.

If they want.
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It wasn't subtlety that helped Captain America sell 1 million copies of its first issue.

Comic book super heroes have historically been a political and sociological representation of America’s frame of mind. Superman grew out of depression era grievances, fighting corrupt politicians and championing social causes; the X-Men, birthed in the sixties, were metaphors for diversity and racial justice; and the first issue of Captain America, who was a blatant patriotic creation, featured the star spangled hero slugging Adolf Hitler in the jaw.

Which brings us to Iron Man circa 2008. His alterego, Tony Stark, is an arrogant, absurdly rich weapons designer who thinks he is God’s gift to the military machine. Visiting Afghanistan for a demonstration of his latest Make-Stuff-Go-Big-Boom war toy, he is ambushed by Afghan rebels wielding his own weaponry and drug off as a hostage. Escaping, he sees the error of his warring ways and swears off weaponry forever, opting instead to build himself a technologically advanced iron suit in order to right his past wrongs. He then goes back and lays waste to rebels who imprisoned him, under the auspices of liberating abused villagers.

Let me go over that again. An arrogant American recklessly feeds global conflict, is attacked by terrorists using his own weapons, and then seeks retribution in the name of freeing an oppressed people. And this all takes place in the Middle East. I smell a metaphor.
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The divide between Christian film and films that deal with issues of faith on a spiritual level is very easy to spot. Where one often stoops to a proselytizing form of propaganda, the other contemplates earnestly, often not presenting an easy answer. Carl Dreyer, Ingmar Bergman, and Robert Bresson each made films that can be associated with the latter and while Dreyer and Bergman were more directly influenced by Lutheranism, Bresson was a Roman Catholic. His films deal with spirituality in the same vein as Dreyer and Bergman and Diary of a Country Priest is widely considered his most transparently religious film.
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This week we get a whopping two releases. But, on the bright side, one will undoubtedly be showing on at least two screens at your favorite mulitplex. So you can go see it twice, if you want. Also, let it be known that The Visitor (which I made a plug for in my previous post) adds another hundred screens this week…so if you’re not into mech suits and explosions, you should check that one out. And now, the summer begins…

Iron Man
Personally, I’m rooting for this little independent drama. The touching story of a young man who dreams of competing in the Ironman Triathlon…wait, what? That’s not what this movie is about? Oh. Okay. So it’s about what, now? Robert Downey Jr. in a robot outfit blowing stuff up? Oh. Huh. Go figure, I guess. (Really though, all you need to know about this one is available here.)

Recommended if you want to know any of the following: (1) Has he lost his mind? (2) Can he see, or is he blind? (3) Can he walk at all? (4) Or if he moves, will he fall? (Wow, what awful lyrics. Hopefully, Ozzy didn’t write the script for this one.)

Made of Honor
Actually, I’m writing a short play about this one. Tell me what you think:
White Male in Suit #1: Iron Man is coming out May 2nd. Somebody come up with something to compete with it.
White Male in Suit # 2: Well, sir, how about something with talking CG animals? Those always seem to make loads of money!
White Male in Suit # 3: Or something from Tyler Perry! He’s only making six films this year! He can probably fit one more into his schedule!
#1: No, you morons! You’re just repeating my ideas back to me! What am I paying you bozos for, anyway?
#3: I thought it was because I was your nephew, sir.
#1: Shut up! Come on guys, think! We know all the males will be busy watching Iron Man…
#2: Because all males are stupid monkeys who come running whenever you promise them explosions…
#1: Right! So we make something for the women. Now what do women like?
#3: I think they like good movies with nuanced characters and compelling storylines, sir.
#1: Wrong answer! Clean out your desk. What do you think, #2?
#2: Well sir, I guess women like inane, derivative romantic comedies that star generic male leads who essentially consist solely of a tuxedo and some stubble.
#1: I taught you well, Junior! Now throw together a rip-off of My Best Friend’s Wedding. And get that guy who directed Leonard, Part 6 to do it. I kinda liked that one.
#2: Yes sir.
#1: Oh, and one more thing: Put a lame pun in the title. Something like Maid in Manhattan, but not quite as godawful.
#2: How about Made of Honor, sir?
#1: Gah-hah-hah! Hah-hah-hah-hah! “Made of Honor.” Hah! Priceless. The women of America will be in awe of how clever we are.
Curtain.

Recommended if you don’t have a chance to see The Visitor, but still need an excuse to munch popcorn

What better way to ice the cake that has been the Coen Brothers month here at MovieZeal than with a top 10 list of their most memorable scenes? Obviously, the challenge becomes which scenes to include, as the Coens have created nothing if not distinctly memorable characters and scenarios. Some films were easy exclusions (The Ladykillers) while some threatened to take over the entire list (Raising Arizona). After much furious and heated debate amongst ourselves (okay, I exaggerate a tad there), we’ve compiled a list that represents the most iconic images and unforgettable setups from their eclectic canon. Though none of you will likely disagree with the choices we’ve made, many may take umbrage with the scenes that are missing. Top 10 lists are nothing if not easy to disagree with, so let fly in the comments section!

10. Showdown With the Nihilists from The Big Lebowski
Every twisted, convoluted story needs a bizarre, confusing ending (just ask Raymond Chandler, who served as much of the inspiration for this film). On this, The Big Lebowski delivers. This is the scene that left every (sober) person in the audience scratching their heads once and for all. There’s not a lot to be said about this one…just watch it and be amazed.

Most Memorable Line: “No Donny, these men are nihilists. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Fun Fact: Gratuitous ear biting was invented just a year prior to this, by boxer Mike Tyson.

NOTE: The following clip has a lot of naughty language. Certainly NSFW, and certainly not good for the kiddies.

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Our final guest article peeling back the cerebral layers of the Coen’s eccentric gray matter comes from Craig Kennedy, tzar-supreme of the cozy watering-hole of a blog Living in Cinema. Here he tackles the significant differences between Cormac McCarthy’s novel and the Coen’s adaptation. Be sure to check out his blog, which features industry news and reviews distilled through his keen wit and eloquence. He also has some of the best commentators and conversations going on in the blogosphere. Park your browser there for a spell and soak in the cinematic sunshine.

“The book was better than the movie.”

How many times have you heard someone say that? The truth is, books and movies are two very different things and the strengths of one don’t always play into the strengths of the other. There are exceptions of course. Gone With the Wind and The Godfather spring to mind as films that are equal to or better than their source novels. The movie versions might not be as rich or as in depth as the novels upon which they’re based, but they get the important things right and they still manage to work as movies.

To that list we can surely add the novel No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy and the film based upon it by Joel and Ethan Coen. The first thing that stands out in a direct comparison of the two is how faithful the Coens were to their source, yet how they still made a film with a recognizable Coen stamp. No Country is unmistakably a Coen movie, from the basic framework of McCarthy’s noir plot, to the strong regional characters, to the dialogue; it’s at home in the Coen canon, yet they seem to have changed very little. Much of the dialogue was delivered intact and even the structure of the narrative survived the translation. Somehow it’s McCarthyesque and Coenesque all at the same time.
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Perhaps not as stellar a selection as last week, but not too shabby either. The pick this week is obviously The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, but those of you not in the mood for high art, you’ve got Hollywood’s sugar-coated flavors of the week to choose from. But why would you choose Bubblegum when you could get Mint Chocolate Chip instead?

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
A magnificent, life affirming film that was shamelessly snubbed by the Foreign Academy Awards Committee. It tells the true story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, who suffered from “locked in syndrome,” where his mind was fully active but his entire body was paralyzed (with the exception of his right eye). The beginning of the film is told completely from his perspective and the effect is extraordinary. Bauby went on to write (or blink, as it were) a memoir of his experiences, which served as the basis for the film. Bittersweet and touching, this is not one to be missed.

Recommended if you liked The Sea Inside

The Golden Compass
Perhaps what The Golden Compass will best be remembered for is being one of the final nails in New Line’s coffin. The studio that rolled the dice on Lord of the Rings and won big, slowly squandered their wealth on poor cinematic offerings and lawsuits with Peter Jackson, resulting in bankruptcy and subsequent acquisition by Warner Brothers. The adaptation of the first book in Phillip Pullman’s bestselling His Dark Materials trilogy had a lot to do with that. In spite of being a visual feast and discovering one of the best child actors in recent years, the film lacks focus and commits the cardinal sin of being tedious. The introduction of the magnificent polar bears nearly an hour into the film is too little, too late, and the ending suffers from crippling sequelitis. A commercial failure, books 2 and 3 aren’t going to see the light of day any time soon, making The Golden Compass a kind of mean trick. Imagine watching The Fellowship of the Ring but never being able to see The Two Towers or The Return of the King and you’ll see what I mean.

Recommended only if you’ve read the book and absolutely have to see what it looks like on the big screen.

Nanking
One of the tragic, untold stories of World War II, the Japanese rape of Nanking took nearly 200,000 lives and matched the Nazi holocaust step for step in evil and brutality. This documentary is an important look but not an easy one. Featuring interviews and rare archival photos and footage, it takes a hard, long look into the face of man’s inhumanity to man as well as the compassion and bravery that can survive in the midst of chaos.

Recommended if it was important for you to see Schindler’s List, even if you knew you wouldn’t enjoy it

27 Dresses
We’ve had wedding themed romantic comedies with wedding planners, best friends, and runaway brides, so why not one about one with a fetish for bridesmaid dresses? (guess how many she wears…just guess) Toss Cyclops into the mix (James Marsden sans totally sweet red lazer visor thingy) as an aspiring writer who decides to make Katherine Heigel (Miss Bridesmaid) his journalistic magnum opus (titled “The Perpetual Bridesmaid”), and you have the perfect recipe for Serious Romantic Complications. Yada yada yada, if chick flicks are your thing, I’m sure you’ll find something to enjoy. I, for one, am just disappointed that Marsden doesn’t fry an entire bridal party with his eyes.

Recommended if you liked The Wedding Planner, Runaway Bride, or My Best Friend’s Wedding

It seems every time you turn around, another graphic novel has been made into a movie. Which is great, because I love graphic novels, and I love movies, and I love the thought of bringing them together like some beautiful cosmic sandwich. It hasn’t been all peanut butter and jelly, though - too often, these attempts are marred with inconsistent vision, shallow storytelling, and the sheer inability to capture the tone and experience of the source material.
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This latest feature article, delving into the spirituality (or lack thereof) in the world of the Coens, comes courtesy of Rick Olson. Once finished, be sure to skip, jump, and hop on over to Coosa Creek Mambo, Rick’s stomping grounds where film and religion intersect.

When Evan asked me to write a piece on spirituality in the films of Joel and Ethan Coen, I said “Huh? What spirituality?” Because as big a fan as I am, the last thing I think of when I think of the Coens is spirituality. But as I began to think about it, some spiritual chinks in the brothers’ cynical armor, and thought why not? I can do that . . .
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This review was originally published February 9th, 2008.

Joel and Ethan Coen’s No Country for Old Men is a film of many faces. It is a thrilling crime drama about a drug deal gone horribly wrong. It is a chase film. It is a character drama. It is a thinking-man’s meditation. It is a masterpiece.
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Chop Shop is such a beautiful, understated film that it almost feels like I’m insulting it by even attempting to review it. The film is more than capable of standing on its own—it says exactly what needs to be said, and nothing more. To add anything to it would destroy its delicate beauty—and far too often, this is exactly what film reviews do. To attempt “judge” a film—especially one as self-interpreting as this one—is a presumptuous task indeed.
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This excellent article comes from Minnesotan native Daniel Getahun of Getafilm, detailing the love/hate relationship those lakeside Scandinavians have held with the Coens ever since they immortalized them in Fargo. After partaking, be sure to ride the intertubes over to Daniel’s excellent site.

“Fargo’s naht even in Minnesoda, ya know!”

So has begun many a contentious conversation with Minnesotans about the Oscar-winning film from native sons Joel and Ethan Coen. A word of advice: if you’re visiting, don’t bring it up. Ironically, we obsessively claim the brothers as our own, while at the same time distance ourselves as much as possible from their most famous portrayal of us. Over the course of their filmmaking careers, the relationship between the brothers and their home state has indeed been a delicate one.

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All great directors eventually reach a low point in their careers, no matter how talented they may be. In 1979, Steven Spielberg made a horrendous Pearl Harbor comedy (?) called 1941. Francis Ford Coppola made Jack with Robin Williams playing a man with an aging disorder. Some say Ang Lee will never reach a lower point in his career than when he released The Hulk. A low-point for Joel and Ethan Coen? The answer is The Ladykillers.
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